Rent-A-Friend

Me and Ex-bouncer had this really awesome idea for a get rich quick scheme.

Oh hellyah, see, its called Rent-A-Friend.

Yah, like, you pay us to be your friend, just like those dudes give money and diamond rings to hookers for sex, y'know, so you can be assured that there's some Quality Control Process involved.

And if you don't like our Friendship Service Levels, well, no, you can't have your money back, but at least you won't have to keep giving us money afterwards, y'know, you can always cut your losses and go with the Cheaper, Completely Unreliable, Rock Bottom Quality and Unprofessional Friendship Competition any ole time you like.

If you actually think you are saving money that way heh.

Anyways, we talked it over with our families, and they weren't actually too hot for our Rent-A-Son and Rent-A-Brother-In-Law ideas, so we might have some Expectation Management and Marketing Issues to work out before we go forward with all the spin-off products ahaha.

And this thing where we have to go around being unfriendly to people until we get paid for it is a lot harder and more unpleasant than I thought it would be.

Well, see, I tell myself its okay to give people free samples of our product so I don't have to be completely miserable and antisocial, its a taste of what they're missing when they don't sign up for our Strangely Affordable Platinum Friendship Plan, y'know, just like a Drug Dealer gives you that first hit for free to get you hooked, just like the Car Salesman wants you to put your hands on the steering wheel and smell the leather seats of that car you can't really afford, that's just good salesmanship and advertising, but cutting them off in the middle of a kickass joke is a lot trickier than I thought it would...

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