Monday, March 17, 2008

There Is No Try

So I made a fresh new commando guy in SWG and I played through the tutorial and that Tansarii Point Station thingie with all the quests and I was having fun blasting stuff and I even blew up my ship once and got knocked down a couple times heh.

And I was thinking, man, maybe I shouldn't have picked on SWG so much, this game is goddam fun.

And then I got beamed down to Tatooine.

And all the monsters for my newb quests were stuck in rocks or purple to me due to some kinda anti-exploit code that makes high level things spawn anywhere people are killing stuff too much.

Seriously, every single bottom-of-the-bin newbie monster at the waypoints for my newbie quests were either stuck in a rock or purple to me.

I'm talking about 30th level mongbats and kreetles, man!

That anti-exploit thingie probably seemed like a good idea at the time but I'm not sure who its supposed to be helping, definitely ain't me (the newb who needs to kill this crap) or the guy who was afk-macroing heh.

Was there a real problem with people killing womprats and newbie quest garbage around Tatooine because it was so much fun that it needed to be solved by only allowing the people who can kill the purple stuff to do it?

I don't ever remember that being a problem when things just respawned, y'know, like regular heh.

Well, whatever, I got in my hovercar and I drove around in the desert and I found other random spawns besides the ones listed in my quest.

And when I couldn't find anything I needed, even after driving out past the lag barrier produced by the event horizon of all the houses that encircle Mos Eisley like a gigantic maze of alleys, because some stuff doesn't spawn randomly, I went back to town and got missions for the things I needed to kill from the mission booths and finished my quests that way.

They give experience points for mission booth quests now, so that's cool, at least.

And there were tons of newbs and oldbies hanging around Mos Eisley too (which is why all my monsters were purple I guess, you bastards ahaha).

Its still exactly the same as it was as far as lag and monsters dying standing up and falling over without any animations and suddenly teleporting to your feet and all that good stuff heh.

So the jedi corpse crotch lightning gag is probably still completely intact ahaha.

And there's bugs, I had to relog on that newbie station once 'cause my quest guy wouldn't talk to me and so I launched into space and then the space station wouldn't talk to me heh.

And I crashed twice in the couple of hours I was playing (both of those times were when I was running past the starport in Mos Eisley for my quests so it probably has something to do with all the people around there).

That was kinda surprising, 'cause for all the stuff I seen in SWG, I don't think I ever crashed before heh.

But whatever, y'know, the game is fun, man.

What other game has a bunch of Elder Jedi squatting out in front of the starport with their glowie thingie activated as if they were meditating or something, just begging to get my newbie crotch stuck in their faces when I puts my hands on my hips and demand money from them heh.

Who's the newb now ahaha.

Any true oldbie would be smart enough to never sit down and get caught in a compromising screenshot like that AHAHA.

Oh don't worry I'm just kidding I always forget to take screesnhots when I'm enjoying myself.

Anyways it got me thinking that it would be awesome if all you guys came and stared at the monsters that were trapped in the rocks with me.

And its not just a misery loves company thingie, y'know?

I mean, you know there's no game that's as jam-packed with intestine-rupturing cartoon comedy as SWG.

When have you ever laughed that hard in a game.

SWG is totally the Plan 9 from Outer Space of MMOs, man.

And the people who take it all serious only make it even more funny.

But I don't blame 'em, y'know, 'cause SWG does have some parts innit that are totally awesome and that sucks you in only to set you up for the parts where you crash on the laggy rocks with all the cardboard monsters stuck in 'em, I've fallen for that "getting my hopes up aww wtf" rollercoaster shit plenty of times myself heh.

I mean, if you look at it like an Ed Wood Show that is brilliant every once in a while on accident or mebbe an evil circus where they torture all your favorite animals to death to entertain you then it won't bother you so much ahaha.


Michael said...

What server are you on?

Ole Bald Angus the Monk said...

Well the newb commando guy I made is on Bloodfin, but ain't nothing stopping me from deleting a couple guys and going somewhere else if there was something fun going on.

I got a couple guys on Starsider already and some master "elder" losers of my own on Tempest and Wanderhome but nothing I really care about.

I wish I could get the old school UO people I know to do something, 'cause we could do all the same kinda junk we did in UO (well, before everybody became a museum on an island unto themselves) in SWG, plus we can do junk like make our own speederbike racetracks and stuff, but its like trying to raise the dead man heh.

I did get to ride in a huge speederbike gang with Big Ed and do the Forbidden Planet thing where twelve guys hose down monsters with lasers once and that was cool as hell but we didn't know any of the people we were with.

And I don't know a faster way to make all the folks I know turn as serious as hell (about something that's about as serious as playing frisbee to ME) than to mention SWG to 'em, y'know, the blood drains out of their faces and they start to spit when they talk and everything, dot ting got some bad juju mon ahaha.

So basically what I'm saying is that I'm open to suggestions.

I'd like to try to find myself a pile of people that had the same kinda immunity to SWG toxins that I got though, there's actually a lot of cool junk we could do in the game that we're never gonna get to do if we just all run around by ourselves all the time.

I know I just said a lot more than you wanted to hear but I'm trying my best to swindle Ex-B and Winst and Sundry Chicken and Big Ed and Jadesfyre and Darth Mego and all them into playing SWG again (for the ninth millionth time) at the same time as I'm answering your question heh.

Most of them prolly won't even look at this and even if they do they'll just get all "noooooooooo!" with me but whatever man ahaha.

Sundry Chicken said...

This whole IRL thing keeps getting in the way.

Anyways, this made me remember the utter horror of watching Phantom Menance in the theater and wanting to gouge out my eyes.

But the whole thing about playing frisbee with a lightsaber I'm totally in for that!

Speaking of lunch, this made mine.

Bonedead said...


I have been playing SWG recently and I too am on Bloodfin! How neat is that?

I've got a 71 Structure Trader and a 31 Jedi, honkey!

In game names are Bonedead (trader/gayder) and Inept Eshoshiswo (don't trust me on that last name).

You can't really group with low levels and help them, but I can give ya some phat money money or maybe a couple pieces of low level loots I'm saving to reverse engineer.

Hoo doogy, tell me you're not excited! I DARE YOU!

Ole Bald Angus the Monk said...

Alright, I had made a newb jedi on Wanderhome (where my master shipwright guy is) but I think I'll go back to Bloodfin just to be able to bug Bone by putting a house next to his and sitting out on my front porch in my underwear picking my nuts.

Plus Wanderhome is dead and I don't really wanna have to play apocalypse survival and make my own pets and food and crap.

Think I'm gonna start over as a jedi though, they seem a lot better than Commando and BH for the newb quest junk with all their spammable specials (and the mindrick "feign death" thingie sure don't hurt either).

Y'know, with the Commando its nice to drop a bomb and kill three blue guys at once but that trick don't work so good on a pack of yellows heh.

And BHs run out of action and their specials recharge slow and you end up plinking away at dudes pew pew pew at the end of long fights, where the jedi's junk recharges quick enough to have SOMETHING ready to spam at all times.

Anyways jedi seems like a damn good pick to me if you are just starting out.

Plus I've played jedi a lot before so I don't have to think so much and worry about how I'm gonna make enough money to buy millions of credits worth of armor from crafters and read forums to re-remember how to use droids (for the fourth goddam time) and all that shit heh.

Loot robe, get the stuff to make lightsaber, make lightsaber, done.

Lightsaber frisbee would be awesome, that's why they don't let us throw our sabers without a hostile target, imagine how kickass Mos Eisley would be with three hundred sabers constantly flying through the air in all different colors.

You CAN play lightsaber frisbee if you duel a buddy jedi, I mean, you couldn't kill a guy with Saberthrow if you WANTED to heh.

Oh and I have confirmed that the jedi crotch lightning is just as good as it ever was, that's really why I made a jedi on Wanderhome, Commandos and BHs ain't got ANYTHING that'll put a smile on your face like being able to blast the corpses of your enemies in the crotch with force lightning ahaha.

Bonedead said...

I actually started with a Commando and rerolled to Jedi, simply because I think they designed NGE/CU/etc thinking that everyone and their mother would be a Jedi. The quests I'm doing right now have greens and blues, and I've only gotten 1 level from doing Rebel missions, all the others were through Legacy.

My Trader is now 82, hopefully I'll get 86 today and then 90 tomorrow. Then, I can make the best ships AND structures. I'll be making everything i think I'll ever need and then respeccing. So, if you want anything (like a large casa or a friggin spaceship) let me know.

When you get to the Legacy quests on Naboo shoot an email to Inept Eoshiswo (I think I got it right that time) and I'll come and help ya run through them and catch you up to where I am (mid-Naboo legacy).

Ole Bald Angus the Monk said...

Ah so yer rebel, I was wondering, I kinda wanted to do rebel this time just 'cause I've been playing imp the last couple times I played (so I'd be all set to get my jedi starfighter before I did any other stuff, but I don't really care about that no more, the beezlebub and advanced x-wings are overpowered enough for all my needs ahaha).

If I do end up sticking around on Bloodfin I'm gonna need to make my own shipguy anyways (just to do all my RE stuff for me really) so you don't worry about me hitting you up for junk or anything.

I dunno if I wanna stick with it if I can't get none of my buddies into it though, y'know, it ain't the same without the cartoon comedy relief bits and stuff.

Bonedead said...

Yeah I understand that. I'm the loner type myself, I don't need no stinking no one, I just do my thang until I get bored and then I go back to another game that I used to play and I think you know how it goes from there.