Friday, March 7, 2008

You Gotta Shake It Baby

Ahhh I just finished spending a bit of time over here at the Jumpgate Evolution place, poking through fansite interviews and reading dev blogs and soaking up spacesim junkie nostalgia on their forums, all of which was pretty interesting.

Like, here's a guy that really loves these kinda games man, holy shit, its almost like poetry for spacesim junkies or something heh.

I mean, its so totally over-the-top fanboy and earnest that you can't help getting sucked into it with him, the guy is like, giving us a Captain's Chair View of all the helmet-cams on our Colonial Space Marines as they investigate some Alien Wreckage or something ahaha.

Reminds ya of that "first glimpse" of Vanguard we got from those Fire of Heaven guys, don't it?

And this is kinda neat in a strangely poignant way AHAHA.

None of that "its a game industry standard for there to be a transition from a development team to a live team" kinda crap over there at all for some reason hmmm heh heh heh heh.

Sure, the focus of the game seems kinda light on features but whatever man, things ain't real unless you can play 'em, y'know, ain't no sense in arguing over the subtle difference between this and that in the Intergalactic Landscape of Imaginary Land ahaha.

And then there's the thing Dundee has been working on over here.

Which is some kinda thing where you are an anime chick who fights succubi in space or something.

And that's about all the meat I could find to pick at.

But going on the assumption that's its the guys that did Jump to Lightspeed, and the twenty seconds of video, you'll be able to run around outside (and maybe inside yer ship) in that game, y'know, like, beam down to a planet and wrestle with aliens or something.

Or beam aboard the hulk of a ship you crippled and salvage stuff out of it or man the stations on multi-user capital ships and totally kickass possibilities like that.

Y'know, the junk they had all the crap to do in SWG, but didn't do, for some reason.

So I do gotta weigh that kinda potential coolness against the whole "magical demons in space" and anime-stink-of-it I guess, heh.

Even though they really didn't seem to be interested in showcasing cool hype machine feature stuff like that on their totally inferior website, compared to Jumpgate Evolution, y'know?

I mean, c'mon, you gotta get some forums over there at least, jeeze looeeze.

Oh and don't gimme that Raph crunk about how you are trying to advertise your company and not a game or something, apparently super geniuses aren't aware of a little thing called FOCUS ahaha.

Hey, there's only nine guys building and moderating the forums and doing everything for Jumpgate Evolution man, so one of you dudes is gonna have to put on a couple extra hats and pick up some of the PR and marketing weasel spin slack or something already, y'know?

I had a hard time even finding your website with Google, I mean, I had to remember the name of Spacetime Studios to get there, 'cause there's a lot of "Blackstar" stuff out there with Mos Def and the Trobbits and stuff, and then I had to click on some links that didn't look quite right and hope they were the right thing (and they were, but yeesh man, I'm tempted to take a screenshot of what it looks like on Google, its so bad ahaha).

What the hizzle is up with that shizzle?

I thought you were some kinda webmastery guru or something man c'mon wtf AHAHA.

Oh, you may think I'm being mean, but when my brother's six year old son told me about his idea for a Spacegame called "Star World" I was all like, "dude, that has gotta be the worst name for a game I've ever heard in my entire life, man, that sounds like some poodoo that George Lucas woulda made up, I mean, c'mon, seriously, Star-World makes absolutely no sense, you gotta get it together, baby" ahaha.

P.S. Might wanna get rid of the smiley face emotes that are front and center on the main page of the company website, y'know, not that I'm an expert on professionalism or anything, but I'm pretty sure that although it might make you seem "friendly" or something, it's not the kind of thing that inspires confidence with investors and shit AHAHA.

P.P.S. Even if you guys ain't doing anything, you should just make up a lotta shit about pie-in-the-sky features you are "currently working on," y'know?

And then just tell folks they had to be yoinked at release or whatever because they were too buggy or something.

Y'know, just like everybody else does it, man.

Now that's a Gaming Industry Standard if there ever was one! AHAHA.

I mean, this is like the absolute worst time you could've ever picked to suddenly decide to be all honest about shit and stuff ahaha.

Plus making up pie-in-the-sky hype-machine drooly-awersomes uber-feature shit like that is totally fun to do, man.

No comments: