Friday, March 14, 2008

Planet of the Apes

I've got that jones to fly a TIE fighter again.

I'm fiending, man.

I know I could just play a little EVE Online, that shit is like methadone for space junkies, but I don't really wanna be cured of my love for spaceship crap heh.

So who wants to play some SWG with me?

C'mon, you know you wanna (not hear me say that anymore ahaha).

I need some comedy man, I'm sick of all these games that ain't totally bizarre and creepy and full of ten million bugs and broken quests and outdated items and screwed up corpse-crotch-lightning jedi powers and fat dudes rubber-banding around the dance floor all choppy in their underpants with turbans and hitler moustaches.

I'm tired of all these games with hopes for the future and silly expansions and "tons of potential" and stuff.

SWG ain't got any of that shit, hope is for wimps, man, I mean, if you are playing SWG, you know you ain't never gonna drive an AT-AT or fly an imperial star destroyer or any of that stupid crap, this is Star Wars: Apocalypse, baby, there's things that you can do now that are bound to break down and never get fixed or be taken away from you in the future, if anything heh.

You get a "lava" lightsaber and an ostrich to never ride because its slow and a Tiltawhirl Barbie Hovercar with a broken tail light to help you navigate your way through all the flashing-neon empty-vendor ghost-towns and ninja smokebombs and space tacos and fire-retardant blankets and a wide selection of beehive hairdos and beards and boney protrusions and purple blotches and the twenty-seven-kinds-of-eyebrows lag.

And you like it.


C'mon, you know you wanna AHAHA.

"It isn't very Star Warsy, but it is pretty David Hasselfhoffy."

Hahaha doh!

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