Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Not Enough Portable Holes

"Okay I've got fifty feet of rope."

"Dude that's like two hundred pounds of rope, ain't it?"

"I dunno."

"I got a bag of fifty iron spikes and a hammer we can use to pound 'em into rocks and stuff so we can climb."

"I got a ten foot pole to check for pit traps and stuff."

"Dude you are gonna get seriously tired carrying a ten foot pole around."

"How many iron rations do you got?"

"I got ten."

"What the heck are iron rations anyways?"

"I dunno, I always imagined 'em as a brick of orange play-doh, jam-packed with a day's supply of nutrients, wrapped in aluminum foil, even though I know they din't have no aluminum foil back in the ancient times."

"Yah, it was prolly wrapped in iron foil, back in them days, hence the iron rations bit."

"How much water do you got?"

"I got a wineskin with seven days worth of water."

"Dude that's like twenty-one gallons of water or something, ain't it?"

"I dunno, I just paid for it and marked it off on my character sheet."


"Mebbe I just carry all that water on my horse."

"Is he bringing his horse down into the dungeon?"

"Uh... yes?"

"Dude, you are the one that made this game, you coulda added more water fountains and ladders and whatever and then we wouldn't have to carry all this crap around with us all the time."

"Yah and we carry all this crap around and then we always find out we need sixty feet of rope and a twelve foot pole to do anything."

"Yah this game sucks."


W.Churchill said...

Gary Gygax R.I.P.


Tuebit said...

In my recent attempt at returning to DnD, after a couple sessions of play the group finally decided to calculate encumbrance ... what a laugh.

Ole Bald Angus the Monk said...

Just the idea of carrying a lance around all day makes me laugh 'cause I know I'd be sweating my ass off and letting the damn thing drag in the dirt behind my horse after like fifteen minutes of trying to look heroic by holding it up right heh.

All the villagers would be seriously bummed when I showed up to save them from the dragon looking all exhausted off my ass in the saddle ahaha.