Saturday, June 14, 2008

The Paper Doll

Armor and Clothing:

1. Head
-great helm, bicycle helmet, hockey mask, construction hat with beer mod, baseball cap, French guy hat, furry Russian hat, World War I Pilot Hat with Ear Flaps, Hippy Wreath of Flowers, Gambling Visor, Turban...

2. Body
-breastplate, hawaiian shirt, black latex catsuit, hospital gown, silver spacesuit with lightning bolt on chest, wife-beater shirt, pajamas, pasties...

3. Legs
-greaves, shorts, jogging pants, super sexy acid washed jeans, pantyhose, kilt, mini-skirt, camouflage parachute pants, g-string...

4. Feet
-combat boots, moon boots, black socks and sandals, clown shoes, swimfins, spiked heels and leg warmers, shoe-phone...

5. Hands
-gauntlets, oven mits, rubber gloves, furry mittens, fingerless "toughguy" gloves, Michael Jackson-type glove...

6. Back
-cloak, cape, trenchcoat, poncho, shawl, surcoat, blanket, astronaut suit, kickass nuclear powered robotic exoskeleton that can turn into a motorcycle, medical scrubs, towel with a safety pin...

Note: No love for sizzle-chested "shoulderpad fans" wtf is that all about anyways how the hell did "shoulderpads" ever even get to be an item in games that must be that Billy Joel Gym Shoes From the 80s Guy again heh.


Other Slots:

7. Eyewear
-mirrored shades (can only be equipped by cops and helicopter pilots with mustaches), taped-up horned rim glasses, safety glasses, colored contact lenses, night vision goggles...

8. Neck
-turquoise amulet from Arizona, power tie, soap-on-a-rope, musical gangster clock, bib...

9. Rings
-toe rings, nipple rings, nose rings, lip rings, bellybutton rings, tongue studs, eyebrow rings (man, a guy in the modern age can wear a lot of magic rings, I mean seriously, there's like no limit if a dude really puts his heart into it, I think mebbe I should just make a "bottomless pit" type of inventory slot for that so I don't gotta think about all the gross shit ahaha)...

10, Ears
-earrings, earmuffs, headphones, ear piece, hearing aid, that little hands-free cell phone thingie that makes you look like a total jagbag...

11. Underpants
-some people wear 'em...

12. Wrists
-bracers, watches, cheesy communication devices from 1960s style scifi, sweatbands (ooh that's a hat too haha)...

Hmm.... what else can people hang shit off of?

There's gotta be more heh.

And I might as well have 'em all 'cause I'm making up the Rules and so the First Rule is that There Ain't No Rules.

Except that Rule about Shoulderpads=sux.

I wanna have like, twice as many slots on the paper doll as everybody else, at least, y'know, I mean, its no sweat off my back.

I think mebbe I'll make each hand and foot be able to wear a different glove and shoe heh.

Well its not like you gotta match.

And I suppose I could break "body" up into a couple more slots for an "undershirt, shirt, and sweater vest" or something.

And if you really had like, three magical t-shirts in Real Life, I bet you'd wear 'em all on top of each other, so maybe I should make that into three slots ahaha.

And "pasties and tassels" could be a separate slot too.

Or mebbe even two separate slots, if you can wear pasties and tassels at the same time, I'm not sure how they work, exactly (but I'm more than willing to learn baby ahaha).

And you could wear one of each on each nipple, so that's a couple more slots right there.

Unless you got to wear a pair for the magic to work, somebody needs to check with Gary Gygax on that, that's a tough call ahaha.

And the Back slot could be broken up too, 'cause you could wear an overcoat with a cape inside an astronaut suit, so that's three more slots.

Oh, and then there's the Scarf Slot, I forgot all about that one.

Yah, the neck one could broken up into a "scarf" and "tie" and a bunch of "necklace slots" so you can go totally Mr. T on the stuff.

Oh, and the "Hanky Slot," there's no sense in doing away with that one just because nobody does that anymore ahaha.

"I got me a Magical Hankerchief +2."

Oh man, socks could be separate from shoes too.

And that's two slots right there 'cause you ain't gotta having matching socks either.

And there's gotta be a "belt" slot, shit man, I forgot all about that one, and that's not even a weird one.

And a fanny pack slot.

Magical wallets and toolbelts and gun belts and holsters and scabbards.

And what about "magical gems" or pocketwatches or something you can put in your pockets?

Oh yah they had that in WoW.

Or how about those Ioun Stone thingies from D&D that orbit your head like little planets, dude, what's the limit on those, I think you can have like ten of those things, I mean, those things would totally make it tough to comb your hair and eat soup, what with all them damn rocks bouncing off the kitchen table and shit, but its ten more slots, y'know?

Oooh, if it was the seventies, you could have a magical Plastic Comb for your "back pocket slot" ahaha.

And all this stuff could have sockets that you could put things into, too.

And hats can actually have slots for magical fishing lures and cards you could stick in your hatband and rabbits and whatever else people stick in their hats.

And magical penny slots for your magical penny loafers.

Ioun Stones that orbit other Ioun Stones ahaha.

'Member when patches were cool in the seventies?

I had a "spider man" patch on this red hoodie and I thought I was the shiznit.

And iron-ons?

Oh man magical iron-ons ahaha yah baby and magical lipgloss and "tattoo slots" ahaha.

I can even have a slot for what kinda magical perfume and deodorant you are wearing.

And a magical golden tooth slot.

A glass eyeball socket.

Oh man, and then there's all the bionic shit.

And nanobots.

And genetic augmentations.

And the Random Mutation Overlay ahaha.

2 comments:

Jeffool said...

I recommend four 'shirt' slots. Why? I think it's obvious, when you think about it...

Ole Bald Angus the Monk said...

Haha yah.