Sunday, September 16, 2007

Super Powers

If I could have any super power, I'd want to be able to speak perfectly in every language that there ever was on this planet, not like some bitchy school marm, but as if I was a dude that lived in whatever neighborhood it came from.

When I try to learn other languages now, what happens is that my brain automagically picks and chooses the words it likes best (for whatever reason) from all the different languages I know and they replace whatever it was I used to use in English.

And then I end up taking extra time to translate my thoughts back into english, y'know, I gotta get all the "wakarimasu" and "vite" and "ach du lieber mensch" shit outta there.

It sucks.

And then, even though I can understand a lot of bits and pieces of completely different languages being spoken, (especially the swear words heh) 'cause there's all fifty seven flavors of folks in the neighborhoods around Chicago, I have the hardest time trying to understand anything a dude that's really from Ireland or Australia says, and I hate having to ask them to repeat themselves fifty times, 'cause I know how annoying that is.

I think its just that I'm horrible at filtering accents to catch all the places where the phrases and sayings need to be broken up in order to figure 'em out by context.

But whatever, I really wouldn't pick to be able to lift shit with my mind, or turn invisible, or be able to fly like superman, or shoot lasers out of my eyes, or anything, that junk just doesn't do anything for me.

Well, the invisible thing would be nice, every once in a while, y'know, I'm not gonna lie, sneaking around the girls locker rooms and shit is all good, but the other ones just sound like the beginning of a lot of headaches, what with that Great Power Comes Great Responisbility crap, I mean, who needs that ahaha.

Where being able to understand everybody in their native tongues would help you get all the jokes and shit when yer partying with a bunch of bamboo lumberjacks in China or something.

And I know how hard it is sometimes, to put the really awesome shit you wanna say into words, even when yer using the language yer most comfortable with.

That's why I'd pick the language thing for my super power.

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