Wouldn't it be awesome to have a buddy named Dick that could put up with a shitload of Dick jokes?
Dude, there's a reason we don't know anybody named Dick, y'know, they woulda never survived our neverending onslaught of Dick Jokes and laughter, we prolly killed 'em all off or drove 'em away to other planets.
And you know there's no way we'd be able to stop ourselves either, its like we were just born magnetized to that shit or something, it don't matter how smart Dick is or how dumb our jokes were or anything, we'd never know, 'cause he'd never get a chance to talk ahaha.
Anyways, I got a great idea for an invention.
Its a PMS Detector, that you wear like a watch, it detects microchanges in the pheromone content of the atmosphere or something, y'know, so you know yer in danger before you say anything and find out the old fashioned way.
Yah, we can make it work just like the Motion Sensor from Aliens, you just gotta make sure they don't start jumping out of the ceiling tiles on ya and shit ahaha.
Only thing that sucks is that if for some reason, it malfunctioned or it ran out of batteries, and somebody got killed, then their family would probably sue us, y'know, its kinda like selling Shark Cages or something AHAHA.