Saturday, September 15, 2007

MMO Roundup

Welp, just did my checkup on all the MMO junk and I didn't see anything interesting.

That Gods And Heroes Rome Rising thing, where the dudes do wrestling moves on monsters and stuff looks neat, but watching five minutes of movies with all the special moves gave me all I'll ever need of that, and I ain't into the way everythings looks like a bowl of tropical fruit made out of crayola crayon wax and they got glowing swords and Rainbow Powers and gladiators wearing mascara heh.

Tabula Rasa is getting completely shitted on by its beta testers, now that the NDA is up.

The stuff they're saying reminds me of being trapped in a mission and not being able to zone out in AO heh.

Hellgate London looks like Doom III with Chromed Out Robot Swordsmen Versus Snake Headed Tentacle Armed Cyborg Suction Cup Alien Demons in a Burned Out City Street or something, I mean, I dunno know if I'd even watch that for free even if it was just a five minute long cartoon on TV.

And I'm sorry but just because its the guys that did Diablo don't make the cyborg tentacles any shorter.

Mebbe I'm missing something, or my expectations got messed up 'cause I thought it was gonna be all strange and cool like Hellblazer (not the movie, you asswipe) or at least something sorta like Vampire Bloodlines from the title and Halloween release date.

What else?

Age of Conan, meh, mebbe.

They got balls, and I think the graphics are kinda dark and interesting looking, even if they sorta remind me of that Disney Headless Horseman cartoon, or the Nightmare Before Christmas, but that don't mean its gonna be any fun.

Still, its probably the only one of these suckers that I'm even willing to try at this point heh.

I refuse to even look at Warhammer, even though I love all that Blood for the Blood God Lords of Chaos stuff, 'cause Mark Jacobs has something to do with it, so that's the end of that.

I don't love Warhammer that much, heh.

Man, I like gritty and dirty looking stuff, y'know, like the Millenium Falcon, and the old Conan Comics, and not all this bright and colorful silver spacesuit shit with the lightning bolt on yer chest and pointy ears.

Is that what kids like nowadays?

'Cause its non-threatening and happy like a bright yellow sweater vest made out of cotton candy or something?

I dunno, man, it all looks like something that'd jump out of a birthday cake at Michael Jackson's house to me, y'know?

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