Wednesday, September 26, 2007

The River Pirates

It just doesn't pay to be a River Pirate, y'know?

I mean, they can't be real pirates, or they'd use a little bit of their pirate treasure to dress better, right?

Most of these dummies don't even have shirts and shoes.

The weird thing is they all got these green hats, y'know?

That's why I'm startin' to think they're just a stupid gang of local teenage kids that call themselves "the River Pirates" fer attention or something.

But whatever, they're easy to catch and sell into slavery, and that's all I care about.

Stupid punkass kids, when I was a kid, we had a gang called the Tarantulas.

Yah, its some kinda gigantic hairy spider from the jungle, I guess we were trying to scare everybody and sound tough by naming our club after a tiny little gigantic bug or something, kids're so stupid, man.

Naw, we didn't beat people up or do awesome crimes or anything cool like that, we just went around tellin' everybody we were the Tarantulas.

Yah, I mean, if they asked, y'know.

I dunno, man, we just were a bunch of goddam idiots.

Y'know, capturing slaves ain't easy, you gotta clobber 'em just right so that you don't mess them up too bad, and you can't leave arrows stickin' in 'em and stuff, or the guy won't buy 'em, they need to be able to work the oars or they're worthless.

Yah, that's why you need a horse, y'know, to drag 'em back to town after you break their legs.

Haha I'm just kidding, you don't wanna break their legs, but it ain't gonna be easy dragging six conked-out guys back to town without a horse.

Wouldn't hurt to learn a little first aid or something, too, y'know, to do some minor repairs if ya mess 'em up on accident.

Or better yet, learn some cosmetics stuff, 'cause then you can really smooth out the lumps and make 'em look fresher and shit.

And don't forget to talk to the constable there in town, the Duke put aside some money to be dispensed as bounties fer cleaning up the riffraff in the neighborhood or something.

Yah, ain't nothing compared to how much ya get sellin' 'em into slavery, but it don't hurt to have everybody thinking yer some kinda heroic adventurer guy.

Yah, that's what I call myself, an adventurer ahaha.

Beats the hell out of being the son of a fishmonger, man.

There ain't no money at all in fish, man, its almost as bad as being a "River Pirate," 'cept I guess you get to wear a shirt while you row yer old man around in a boat, and yer related to the guy that owns ya and beats ya and mistreats ya heh.


W.Churchill said...

Havent done much slaven yet (I only got the skill to hold 5 slaves atm) But I always thought the same thing about those damn green hats

Ole Bald Angus the Monk said...

You can just hit the "statistics" button under yer guy's picture in the Character screen, and then Export your character to a plain text file in the mount&blade directory (it'll end up in its own Char Exports directory in there).

And then you can edit that text file to give yourself 60 in all yer stats and 10 in all the skills and then go back into the game and Import it to overwrite your stats and skills and stuff.

10 is the highest you probably want to go with skills (unless you're sure the code don't care if you go higher than that) and 63 is the "general" cap for stats (going higher than that in an import can crash your game and stuff, unless the games been modded to handle going higher than that), so you'll have maxed out stats by the time you hit 13 level if you set 'em all to 63.

Oh, and I usually set my weapon skills to around 300, 'cause setting it to that ain't too outrageous, and you'll still see your skills increase a lot, and it won't make your arrow shots be one-hitters unless you do a head shot.

Takes two seonds to set up and besides the fun of cheating it makes testing different stuff quicker and easier when you gotta start over and over again heh.

Y'know, junk like the slavemaster skill is only useful when yer a poor newb who needs money, once I start leading my armies around and I get rich I don't usually waste my time capturing slaves and finding a place to unload 'em, I just let 'em all go.

Might be more useful if you are into to converting your weird sea raider prisoners and stuff into followers (you can do that in the camp menu now).

There's also the cheats you can enable in the config menu when you first start the game that are kinda handy, like control-click to teleport on the map screen, control-x to give yourself money in the inventory screen, control-x to level up selected troops in the Party Screen, control-spacebar to make time pass faster on the map screen, and control-h to heal yourself in batttle.

There's a couple other cheats but those are the ones I use enough to remember heh.

They got 'em all listed on the forum somewhere.