It just doesn't pay to be a River Pirate, y'know?
I mean, they can't be real pirates, or they'd use a little bit of their pirate treasure to dress better, right?
Most of these dummies don't even have shirts and shoes.
The weird thing is they all got these green hats, y'know?
That's why I'm startin' to think they're just a stupid gang of local teenage kids that call themselves "the River Pirates" fer attention or something.
But whatever, they're easy to catch and sell into slavery, and that's all I care about.
Stupid punkass kids, when I was a kid, we had a gang called the Tarantulas.
Yah, its some kinda gigantic hairy spider from the jungle, I guess we were trying to scare everybody and sound tough by naming our club after a tiny little gigantic bug or something, kids're so stupid, man.
Naw, we didn't beat people up or do awesome crimes or anything cool like that, we just went around tellin' everybody we were the Tarantulas.
Yah, I mean, if they asked, y'know.
I dunno, man, we just were a bunch of goddam idiots.
Y'know, capturing slaves ain't easy, you gotta clobber 'em just right so that you don't mess them up too bad, and you can't leave arrows stickin' in 'em and stuff, or the guy won't buy 'em, they need to be able to work the oars or they're worthless.
Yah, that's why you need a horse, y'know, to drag 'em back to town after you break their legs.
Haha I'm just kidding, you don't wanna break their legs, but it ain't gonna be easy dragging six conked-out guys back to town without a horse.
Wouldn't hurt to learn a little first aid or something, too, y'know, to do some minor repairs if ya mess 'em up on accident.
Or better yet, learn some cosmetics stuff, 'cause then you can really smooth out the lumps and make 'em look fresher and shit.
And don't forget to talk to the constable there in town, the Duke put aside some money to be dispensed as bounties fer cleaning up the riffraff in the neighborhood or something.
Yah, ain't nothing compared to how much ya get sellin' 'em into slavery, but it don't hurt to have everybody thinking yer some kinda heroic adventurer guy.
Yah, that's what I call myself, an adventurer ahaha.
Beats the hell out of being the son of a fishmonger, man.
There ain't no money at all in fish, man, its almost as bad as being a "River Pirate," 'cept I guess you get to wear a shirt while you row yer old man around in a boat, and yer related to the guy that owns ya and beats ya and mistreats ya heh.