Monday, October 1, 2007

A New Bartles Graph

I'm super smart.

For a professional wrestler-looking guy.

So lemme explain the different types of players in Massively Multiplayer Online Games.

Its super simple.

See, pretty much everything that has to do with Massively Multiplayer Online Games has to do with whether you like it in the ass, or hate it in the ass.

Some people like it in the ass.

And other people don't like it in the ass.

And some other people really hate it in the ass.

For some people, having it in the ass is the worst thing that could ever happen to you.

And for other folks, it all depends on the delivery.

Some of the people who hate it in the ass, hate it in the ass so much that they think nobody should like it in the ass.

Not even wimmin!

Those are the Haters.

Some of the Haters don't even want anyone to talk about whether people like it in the ass or not.

And some of the Haters actually like it in the ass, but they think they shouldn't like it in the ass, and so they try to externalize their own guilty feelings in order to try to solve their own internal ass-liking conflicts by projecting it on others with the hope that somebody outside themselves will come along and set them straight.

That kind of Hater ends up talking about people liking it in the ass a lot, and if they talk about it too much, then they're in danger of becoming Roleplayers and Socializers.

So there's two kinds of Haters.

Some of the people who hate it in the ass actually do hate it in the ass, and yet they don't mind the people that like it in the ass.

Those are the Apathetics.

Some of the folks that would normally be considered Apathetic go around telling everybody how they don't mind people who like it the ass even though they don't particularly like it in the ass themselves, a little too much, and thus they become Roleplayers and Socializers too heh.

Some of the people who hate it in the ass actually prefer the people that like it in the ass to the people that don't like it in the ass.

And some of the people who like it in the ass actually prefer the people that hate it in the ass to the people that like it in the ass.

Those are the Explorers.

Some of the people who hate it in their ass actually pride themselves on their conquests of people who like it in the ass.

Those are the Achievers.

And there are some people who hate it in the ass that pride themselves on their conquests of people who don't like it in the ass.

Those are the Killers.

Some of the people who like it in the ass pretend they hate it in the ass, because they don't want any trouble with the people who hate it in the ass.

And some of the people who like it in the ass pretend they don't like it in the ass just because they're shy.

And some of the people who don't like it in the ass actually pretend they do like it in the ass, just to be funny or to seem fashionable or something.

Those are the Roleplayers and Socializers.

Some people hate it in the ass but they are willing to pretend they like it in the ass for money.

And some of the people who like it in the ass will make you buy 'em dinner and diamond rings and mink coats and stuff before they let anything into their ass, even though they like it in the ass, they're willing to suffer in order to control the supply to increase the demand.

Those are the Merchants.

So those are all the different types of MMO players.

Yer damn lucky there's some professional wrestler-lookin' guys like me that aren't afraid to finally spell it all out for you once and for all ahaha.

7 comments:

Ex-bouncer said...

I never thought I would enjoy reading something all about how people either like or hate taking it up the ass. haha

I guess I'm a hater cause taking it up the ass is my deepest and darkest fear!

Ole Bald Angus the Monk said...

Haha man I don't even know if I have a deepest darkest fear.

I know I definitely don't like clowns though.

I guess I'd rather have a clown take me from behind than have to watch them do anything to me from the front, y'know, with that rubber nose that makes the honking noise and all the greasy white make-up smearing around and making their eyes look all blood-shit and yellow and shit ahaha.

I went out with a chick that was a clown once, y'know, when a clown chick is all dressed up as a clown, they don't really look like a woman anymore.

And the fact that she went around like that making children smile all day at birthday parties didn't make it any less horrible for me heh.

Its kinda like going out with a chick with short hair, y'know, something in my brain totally turns off 'cause they sorta look like wimpy guys, especially from behind, yknow?

Ah well, anything that makes ya laugh can't be ALL bad ahaha.

Ex-bouncer said...

I don't know man. I just might dress my wife up like a clown and see how that is. I can imagine that white face paint would get a little messy but nothing a shower couldn't fix! hah

Ole Bald Angus the Monk said...

Mebbe you should start out slow, y'know, the honking nose thingie can actually be pretty fun, its just the flower that squirts water and the spaghetti wig and the big floppy shoes and all that other clown shit that ruins it ahaha.

Ex-bouncer said...

Instead of being the mustache connection we can be the clown connection!

Ole Bald Angus the Monk said...

I don't think I've ever seen a clown with a moustache.

Its kinda funny, y'know, like CLOWNS think MOUSTACHES would scare the kids or something ahaha.

"...brought to you by the people who brought you 'Cowboys Versus Zombies' and 'Cowboys Versus Robots,' its Cowboys With Moustaches Versus Clowns With Honking Noses!!!"

"Dancing Cowboy Strikeforce Sugar Power Cereal! ohyeEEAAAAAHHHHH!"

Jeff Freeman said...

Needs a chart with a bullet-point summary.

Then you could use this and make an eBook!

http://www.mixbook.com/