Monday, October 1, 2007

Farmers and Townsmen

I'm still hacking the hell out Mount & Blade, redoing the troops the way I want 'em and stuff.

And for a minute there, I thought a farmer upgraded to a townsmen.

They don't upgrade to townsmen, they're equal to townsmen, both farmers and townsmen upgrade to village watchmen type guys.

I guess I thought they upgraded to townsmen 'cause I really was a farmer that upgraded to a townsman in real life.

Or at least that's how a part of me thinks of it.

But as far as fights go, I think I'd rather have a skull-crushingly strong farmer kid on my side than some city dude with a cup of coffee in his hand and a cigarette dangling from his lip heh.

And I don't care if the coffee guy says he knows karate, man, they all say they know karate and shit, and then every fight I ever seen between a farmer kid and a city kid is like watching a fight between a gorilla and a paper bag full of groceries.

Or a fight between a gorilla and a Big Headed Alien, aw hellyah.

Go ahead and give the alien a laser gun, so he can piss the gorilla off a little and burn some fur before the gorilla uses his teeth to open him up like a bag of chips.

Damn, I'd pay good money to see that shit,.

I'm telling you man, those gorilla fights are an untapped goldmine.

Yah, it really sucks that they're vegetarians, it'd be so much cooler if they were carnivorous.

Man, its too bad we killed off all the other carniviorous apes, if we woulda been thinking straight we woulda kept some around for entertainment purposes.

Mebbe we can use Science to fix that shit.

Wouldn't be the first time Science helped us correct one of the more obvious mistakes of the gods ahaha.

What the hell was I talking about originally anyways?

Some kinda farmer shit?

Aw who gives a crap about that stuff, there's no way a farmer could beat a properly trained genetically enhanced carnivorous war gorilla, even if he teamed up with that city guy that said he knew karate.

Now, a farmer guy, a city guy that says he knows karate, and a Big Headed Alien with a laser gun might just stand a chance, if they put their brains together and used the city kid's corpse as a distraction while the farmer kid used the Big Headed Alien's laser gun to put a blast into the bionic war gorilla's brain through one of its eyes.

Of course, that won't work if the war gorilla is wearing those mirrored shades that cops and helicopter pilots always seem to wear for some reason, 'cause then the laser blast will bounce right off.

Hmm, y'know, now that I think about it, its kinda weird that the same kinda guys that always wear those mirrored shades are the ones that usually have moustaches, what's up with that?

They prolly fight a lot of aliens or something.


How about polar bears versus sugically altered super goriallas!

I saw a show once where a polar bear couldn't even beat a walrus, though, so we'd need to wire a boat propeller to its head or something to keep things interesting, probably,

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