Thursday, October 11, 2007


Y'know, you can make stuff, and you might be great at making stuff.

And you might be some kinda renaissance man who is great at making all sorts of different stuff.

And you might even be great at making stuff that you don't even particularly like heh.

And you might even be handsome with killer sideburns and a really sexy voice on top of it ahaha.

But in order to make something that is truly awesome in my mind, y'know, like that Name of the Rose movie, or the Cadfael series, you need a humongous fucking shitload of guys who are great at making stuff like that, all working together.

You ever seen the credits to the Name of the Rose?

That thing is like ten thousand names long, there was like five hundred dialogue coaches and shit ahaha.

That's really what I think George Lucas is all about, y'know?

I mean, let's face it, he can't write a line of dialogue that doesn't make you wanna claw your way out of your own skin to escape from it.

And the names of his characters are totally retarded, Count Dookoo, I mean, c'mon, like, that's even better than something I'd think up if I was trying to be stupid on purpose ahaha.

And although there ain't nobody on Earth that can do a better race car chase scene than him, you gotta give him that, (James Cameron is only about half as good, and he's more than twice as good as the next guy, so that's really saying something), if it wasn't for the four hundred other super geniuses (including the dude that designed how everything looked, and the special effects guys, and that sound genius, and all the original actors like Harrison Ford and shit) that put all their stuff into Star Wars, it woulda sucked.

Well, mebbe it wouldn't have totally sucked but it'd be a lot more like the original Battlestar Galactica, probably.

The thing is, its like totally fucking impossible to get a bunch of geniuses like that together and make them work together, and that's what George Lucas is really a genius at.

He didn't design the Storm Troopers or the Millenium Falcon or anything, y'know?

But he did get somebody to do that for him, and he got the guy to put the sound effects to the lightsabers and the John Williams to write him some music and however many musical genius dudes it takes for John Williams to play his music.

So when I think about whether I could make something awesome myself, I usually get about as far as comparing the shit I would want to do to something like Night of the Living Dead or Monty Python's Flying Circus, and then I think, shit man, there's no fucking way I could do anything that good without a shitload of different kinds of super geniuses helping me, y'know?

Not all by myself, no fucking way, not even if I am the equivalent of four or five regular super geniuses who don't have my Split Personality Advantage heh.

So why even bother.

Meanwhile a bunch of goddam cartoon characters can work together and produce the entire works of Shakespeare eventually if they just keep throwing monkeyshit at the wall long enough.

And really, when I think about it, every great thing I ever had anything to do with was more like that, y'know?

Definitely more Thousand Monkey Style and not so much that some particular guy was a super genius that deserves all the credit for it or something.

Which is where I see a lot of game dev guys going wrong, they all seem to have that Evil Super Villain "You''ll see! You'll all see! Muahaha!" thing going on or something, you hardly ever hear or see anything about anybody working together with nobody, y'know?

Not like the Monty Python guys did.

Which is how you need to do it, to do anything really good, I think.

Who is gonna pick the fucking music?

Even if you just steal the music from somewhere heh.

Are you a genius at that?

I'm sure everybody is gonna just love my Medieval Adventure Game with the Cameo Soundtrack and the Red Cod Piece of Vanquishing.

But I know, game dev guys can't work together, y'know, 'cause the only thing that makes 'em different from each other is what they think is their Top Secret Ultimate Game Design Thing or something, and the Other Game Devs might wanna steal it.

Meanwhile I give away ten ideas better than that thing you got a month and it don't seem to hurt me none, has it?

Oh sure some dude in China is making my zombie tag game but I told you that was never gonna work longterm heh.

And everybody knows what your Top Secret thing is anyways heh.

Gawd fer a bunch of Super Geniuses you are all so retarded sometimes ahaha.

Yah that's prolly not something George Lucas would say but at least I can write a fucking line of dialogue that doesn't make half the people get up and leave the room AHAHA.

Well, I mean, if I really put my mind to it AHAHAHA.

Okay mebbe not.

Here, think about it like this, if every single semi-genius dude we ever heard of like Raph and The Brad and Dundee and Lum all the other guys and all their fans and the scientists and everybody just sorta lurking around the mmo game industry scene put their brains together, would they come up with anything as good as Aliens?

I think not.

I don't think they could do anything even half as good as Thumb Wars AHAHA.

I think that guy from Ask A Ninja could take 'em all even if I held his arms behind his back AHAHAHA.

And that's if they all work together!

Call me an armchair-game designer or whatever, its all the same to me, its like telling me there's six different kinds of nothing ahaha.

Oh, I see, now its "just" a game AHAHA.

Starship Troopers mighta kinda sucked but it still took a Heinlein and a Doogie Howser and a bunch of math and computer science and special effects geniuses and at least one guy to think up the gory stuff that actually made me laugh every once in a while.

We might have a humongous surplus of Doogie Howsers and gory joke guys layin' around but we ain't got even half of a Heinlein.

And that's just what we'd need if we wanted to do something as good as Starship Troopers!

For the love of mike, man!

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