Monday, August 20, 2007

The Vault Dwellers

*standing ovation*

The idea that rich kids who play video games are something to worry about as far as violent crimes go is hilarious.

Its not like I gotta "stay frosty" and "keep my wits about me" when I walk down that street heh.

I mean, there's a reason rich kids play video games where they pretend to be poor pirate kids that can't afford to play video games.

Its because playing a game where you pretend to be a rich kid that plays video games wouldn't be EXCITING enough 'cause there ain't enough violent crime innit heh.

Now, out in the boonie wastelands, or down in the ghetto, where parents can't afford to equip their children with a proper gaming habit and they have to tell their kids to "go play outside" and there ain't nothing to do in town 'cept get high on somethin' if ya can and fight and screw if ya can't... that's where the REAL toothless one-eyed pirate action is, baby.

But of course, there ain't no easy solution to that problem.

And so we end up with all this "OMG I Caught Little Billy Playing Vice City and Masturbating!" stuff in the news and politics, 'cause THAT'S something us fancy college boy journalists and high falutin' guvnerment lawyers and suburban housewives aren't afraid to DO something about!

As if CRIME could be solved by putting STICKERS on products at Best Buy and junk.

But who can blame 'em, really, journalists and politicians are just rich kid vault dwellers, too, I mean, what the fuck do they know about crime or anything that happens on the actual surface of the planet?

Well, I mean, its pretty obvious what they know about everything, from the stuff they're doing heh.

But its not like anybody except them is reading stickers on products and listening to juicy little sound bits and watching TV about all this shit anyways, y'know, 'cause the rest of their potential audience is out there having fun committing crimes and shit.

Oh, and don't even try to tell me that politicians are Bad Guys.

I mean, sure, they might be the Bad Boys of the Vault Dwellers, but shit man, when one of 'em gets a Blow Job its Big News AHAHA.


Tuna said...

So there are three monkeys gathered in a circle talking about zombies.....

Sounds like that might be the start of a nice story.

Check out my blog.

Ole Bald Angus the Monk said...

Dude I was JUST thinking about how I never got to finish my three monkey story ahaha.