Tuesday, August 14, 2007

The Beer Watchers Beer Loss System

My brother's wife got my parents doing this Weight Watchers thing.

I never seen it in action before.

Yah, apparently, everything you eat and half the shit you drink is worth a certain amount of Points, and you gotta keep track of all these Ponts, and do math, ugh.

And at the end of the day, you gotta make sure you don't go over your own Personal Point Limit.

And yer Personal Point Limit is dependent on your weight or something, so a fatter guy gets more points than a skinny guy.

So it seems to me that it'd actually be better to get fatter, in order to increase yer Point Limit, so you could eat more awesome pancakes and bacon and lasagna and shit without going over the limit, y'know?

Yer actually being punished for losing weight, 'cause every time you lose weight, yer Daily Point Limit goes down!

When I first heard about this Weight Watchers thing, I asked how much a beer was worth, and they told me it was worth Three Points.

So after that, I started dividing everything they were gonna eat by three, y'know, to see how many beers they were giving up every time they ate anything.

"Dude, that crappy healthy salad is worth two and quarter beers! Yer bleeding Potential Beer Points like crazy!"

"Hey! Waitamminit! Fuck this salad! I'd rather have the beers!"

"That's half a beer right there!"

"Three of those is a whole beer you ain't gonna get to drink at the end of the day!"

"Dude, that's Three Beer Chili yer eating!"

So that's my Beer Watchers Beer Loss System.

Its way funner and more rewarding than that Weight Watchers thing.

Seems a lot easier to do the math, too, when something important like the potential loss of beers is on the line heh.

Yah, my mom is so proud to have a smart kid like me ahaha.

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