Saturday, January 24, 2009

Revenge Against the Killer Robots

Uh, sir?

I don't think you can actually get revenge against the killer robots, y'know?

Well, 'cause like, killer robots, y'know, well, they don't have any feelings, sir.

Oh sure, killer robots are really good at trying super hard to kill us and everything and stuff, they really don't know any other way to do anything but try as hard as they're able to do whatever it was they were programmed to do, they totally kick our asses in that department, sir, they never need to sleep or have a smoke or rest or anything, really.

But y'know, they don't actually care one way or the other when they finally kill you or fail to kill to you.

Just 'cause they try hard don't mean they actually care what happens.

And you can't really "get 'em back" for killing your buddies and stuff, y'know?

'Cause they ain't like us, sir, you can't hurt or scare a killer robot or frustrate 'em or even make 'em feel a little uncomfortable about anything, sir, 'cause they don't care about comfort, they don't know anything about comfort or being hurt or being afraid of things, they don't care if they're on or off or if they win the war or lose the war, it doesn't mean anything to them, they ain't aware of any of that kinda junk, sir.

And so this whole thing where you go stomping about the command deck yelling about how we're gonna make the killer robots pay for this and that and whatever, that's just crazy talk, sir, we can't make the killer robots pay for anything, sir, its just, like, scientifically impossible.

And making humans spend their whole lives learning how to fly spaceships so they can go and get exploded in battle with the killer robot pilots in space, that really doesn't make any sense, sir.

Well, I think we shoulda been making 'em learn about robotics or something so we coulda built ourselves some better robots for once, for one thing, y'know?

Make ourselves some killer robot killing robots or something, right?

And then like, kick back in a comfy chair with a big ole bucket of chips and some beers and watch it all play out on the bigscreen and we can forget all about these "last ditch effort" suicide missions and all this "guerilla warfare against the killer robots" and crap.

I mean, its like, what are we trying to do here?

Even the guys in the hangar are working their asses off repairing our beat-to-hell ships and crap, its like they spend their whole lives trying to work harder and stay up later than the killer robots or something.

That's just crazy, sir, and on top it being crazy, it's like, they're trying to become killer robots or something.

Well, you guys are always yapping on and on about how the killer robots are trying to become more like us humans, and I just don't see it happening that way at all, sir.

And whatever, you'd think that at least those aerospace dudes in the hangar would be a little smarter, y'know, 'cause they ain't like us rich-man's-son idiot command guys, those bastards went to engineering school and shiz where they had to do the hard math.

I mean, that's all just a bunch of junk out of Common Sense 101 or something, y'know?

Well, I'm just saying, sir.


Jeffool said...

I see all this big talk, but all I can say is you'd absolutely change your tune when a Grace Park-bot starts smiling at you.

Ole Bald Angus the Monk said...

Haha yah how the hell DID we end up in a bloody war against the SEXBOTS anyways sir?

I mean, HOW EXACTLY did THAT fight get started?

See, THIS is EXACTLY what I was talkin' 'bout with why we can't have women in the military AHAHA.