You people need some cheering up.
So I want you to imagine some hobbits.
Spending their entire day doing something related to the food they were eventually gonna get to eat, y'know, churning butter, taking care of animals, growing spices, perfecting recipes, making silverware, building booze barrels, baking bread, whatever.
That's all nice and everything, right?
And after a hard day of that shit, and a nice huge feast, they hang out on the porch in the fresh night air with a cool breeze moving through the trees and they eat desserts and smoke pipes and crack jokes and tell stories for a bit and they watch all the lights down there in town twinkle along with the reflections of the stars and everything on the lake or whatever.
Totally cool and smooth.
But they suck in bed, what with the weird little rubbery noises they make, and the way they're all inhibited and twisted, totally unable to express themselves and get comfortable and shit, its nothing but sheer sexual frustration there, the biting and hair pulling is actually the good stuff, there ain't no hobbits that know how to kick off their shoes and let their hair down and sink into each other with kisses, they seize up and freak out when they grab on to each other, their whole process of reproduction is all awkward and terrifying and unsatisfying and traumatizing to everybody involved, that's why Bilbo lived alone and never talked about it and shit man ahaha.
So don't be all jealous of the hobbits, man.
That's like being jealous of homeless people 'cause they get to go camping all the time.
Yah, Eating is only one of the Big Three.
Yah no, Shitting isn't one of 'em, Shitting sorta goes with Eating, I think.
Well, I'm not an expert or anything, y'know, so maybe you're right.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
The Art of Plagiarism
Its interesting, the way artists steal stuff from each other.
Like, books steal stuff from real life.
And comic books steal stuff from books.
And movies steal stuff from comic books.
And television steals stuff from movies.
In these cases, the stolen goods are traveling from a less-well-known source, something edgier and more underground with a cult following of people who are willing to put a lot of effort into getting at the highest quality entertainment, to a more widely accepted format that's easier to get at with a lower barrier to entry.
And even if the stolen goods weren't all watered down on purpose, in preparation for their delivery to the masses, or cut with something cheaper, so you could spread a tiny bit of goodness over a longer period of time, they'd still lose some of their potency, just due to the process of copying 'em, 'cause nobody understands what they're copying as well as the dude who made the original copy that they're all copying off of, and so there's always little bits and pieces that don't get copied.
Which is why, given the choice, you'd probably want to make your copies from the most intense and original sources, and not the most bland and over-boiled sources, just to increase the odds of capturing more of the colors and flavors and textures involved.
But that's not how games do it.
Nope, see, I think games actually have a tendency to do things the other way around, 'cause they got self-esteem issues and they want to steal acceptance by the masses more than they want to be thought of as "artistic" and "edgy" and "original" and all that heh.
Yah, y'know, you might be tempted to steal from a bland and widely accepted format, if your medium was having problems with acceptance, if your medium was considered "nerdy" or whatever.
Which is the exact opposite of the problem with TV, where its thought of as "stupid," and it needs to steal stuff that makes it seem more original and edgy and artistic ahaha.
Of course, books also steal stuff from comic books, and comic books steal stuff from movies, and there's all sorts of cross-pollination stuff like that, I'm generalizing here.
And you can also play semantics, and say that we're not really stealing things, that we're just being influenced by things, that these things are our "influences," there's a whole art to that shit.
And we can make an art out of stealing things, where we sorta admit that we're stealing things, we can say that we're doing a nod or a hat tip to something we like, or bringing some edgy cool and underground thing to the masses, as if we were doing them a favor, we're Prometheus Bringing Fire, we're the well-paid herald of Galactus or something.
Or we can just try to not get caught at it heh.
And then fall back on the Prometheus stuff if we do get caught or something ahaha.
But everybody is actually stealing things, imitation is the highest form of flattery and all that.
And every once in a while we do think up something new and original, while we're stealing stuff, 'cause the stuff we're stealing has a tendency to inspire new ideas and new twists and stuff.
I'm not one of those guys that go around moping about how everything has been done before, I mean, just because something is tough to do doesn't mean its impossible and that we should all just give up or whatever, all the cool things are tough to do, and I'm all totally into doing new stuff that nobody has done before, even if I'm not the kinda guy to worry about holding my nose when I need to steal shit 'cause I can't think of nothing new to do heh.
You gotta explore the map out to the edges to get to the new stuff, y'know?
Hell, you gotta explore the map out to the edges to even know what the new stuff is.
Anyways, there ain't nothing wrong with thinking of story-telling as being a DJ, where you spin records, or in this case stories, there's an art and a skill and a craft and a bunch of knowledge and appreciations and understandings that go into spinning 'em good, even if you ain't responsible for any of the songs that you are twisting together.
Its probably better to think of it that way than to think of it in any other way, actually, 'cause it tends to get less and less honest the more you move away from that heh.
And you can also get so good at mixing crap together that you can start making new songs out of bits and pieces of old songs, too, y'know, at that point, the line between doing that and sitting in a rocking chair and plucking out your favorite chords on an old guitar is starting to get pretty blurry.
And there's another rule I have, probably the most important rule of all, and that's to not ignore a thing just because "its been done before."
Everything is a tool, and you don't ignore all the things a tool might be able to do, just because some other dude used them once.
You don't need new tools, all the time, to make new things, we'd still be living in caves if we all thought shit like that ahaha.
And you don't wanna ignore the tools that bad guys use, either, just because a bad guy used it to do bad things, 'cause there's no such thing as Bad Guy Tools, its all in how you use it, as soon as a Good Guy picks up a Bad Guy Tool it tends to turn into a Good Guy Tool.
That's why I'm okay with drinking, y'know, it shouldn't be "against the rules" for the Good Guys to seek a little lubrication when they need it, after a long hard day of doing Good Deeds and all that shit ahaha.
Anyways, all of these things can be done well, or done poorly, that's how you know that there's an art to 'em.
And there's even all sorts of arts involved in stealing things.
But you ain't never gonna figure 'em out unless you start with being honest with yourself about how dishonest you are.
Y'know, yer just gonna end up being some crazy dude in the land of make believe heh.
I'm not an expert or anything, but I'm pretty sure that Artistic Integrity doesn't start with a river in egypt ahaha.
Well, whatever, we really should get together and make our own TV show.
Yah man, apparently we can just copy shit scene by scene from movies like the Fly and whatever nowadays and we don't even have to do the usual reach-around hat-tip thingie where we do a little name-dropping and point folks in the direction of the thing we stole it from ahaha.
Yah, I dunno, I'm guessing that its 'cause most of the TV audience right now is too young to see R rated movies, so we can just steal willy-nilly from Rated R shit and pretend we came up with all that junk!
Could it get any goddam easier?
See, we should be striking while that iron is still hot baby ahaha.
Like, books steal stuff from real life.
And comic books steal stuff from books.
And movies steal stuff from comic books.
And television steals stuff from movies.
In these cases, the stolen goods are traveling from a less-well-known source, something edgier and more underground with a cult following of people who are willing to put a lot of effort into getting at the highest quality entertainment, to a more widely accepted format that's easier to get at with a lower barrier to entry.
And even if the stolen goods weren't all watered down on purpose, in preparation for their delivery to the masses, or cut with something cheaper, so you could spread a tiny bit of goodness over a longer period of time, they'd still lose some of their potency, just due to the process of copying 'em, 'cause nobody understands what they're copying as well as the dude who made the original copy that they're all copying off of, and so there's always little bits and pieces that don't get copied.
Which is why, given the choice, you'd probably want to make your copies from the most intense and original sources, and not the most bland and over-boiled sources, just to increase the odds of capturing more of the colors and flavors and textures involved.
But that's not how games do it.
Nope, see, I think games actually have a tendency to do things the other way around, 'cause they got self-esteem issues and they want to steal acceptance by the masses more than they want to be thought of as "artistic" and "edgy" and "original" and all that heh.
Yah, y'know, you might be tempted to steal from a bland and widely accepted format, if your medium was having problems with acceptance, if your medium was considered "nerdy" or whatever.
Which is the exact opposite of the problem with TV, where its thought of as "stupid," and it needs to steal stuff that makes it seem more original and edgy and artistic ahaha.
Of course, books also steal stuff from comic books, and comic books steal stuff from movies, and there's all sorts of cross-pollination stuff like that, I'm generalizing here.
And you can also play semantics, and say that we're not really stealing things, that we're just being influenced by things, that these things are our "influences," there's a whole art to that shit.
And we can make an art out of stealing things, where we sorta admit that we're stealing things, we can say that we're doing a nod or a hat tip to something we like, or bringing some edgy cool and underground thing to the masses, as if we were doing them a favor, we're Prometheus Bringing Fire, we're the well-paid herald of Galactus or something.
Or we can just try to not get caught at it heh.
And then fall back on the Prometheus stuff if we do get caught or something ahaha.
But everybody is actually stealing things, imitation is the highest form of flattery and all that.
And every once in a while we do think up something new and original, while we're stealing stuff, 'cause the stuff we're stealing has a tendency to inspire new ideas and new twists and stuff.
I'm not one of those guys that go around moping about how everything has been done before, I mean, just because something is tough to do doesn't mean its impossible and that we should all just give up or whatever, all the cool things are tough to do, and I'm all totally into doing new stuff that nobody has done before, even if I'm not the kinda guy to worry about holding my nose when I need to steal shit 'cause I can't think of nothing new to do heh.
You gotta explore the map out to the edges to get to the new stuff, y'know?
Hell, you gotta explore the map out to the edges to even know what the new stuff is.
Anyways, there ain't nothing wrong with thinking of story-telling as being a DJ, where you spin records, or in this case stories, there's an art and a skill and a craft and a bunch of knowledge and appreciations and understandings that go into spinning 'em good, even if you ain't responsible for any of the songs that you are twisting together.
Its probably better to think of it that way than to think of it in any other way, actually, 'cause it tends to get less and less honest the more you move away from that heh.
And you can also get so good at mixing crap together that you can start making new songs out of bits and pieces of old songs, too, y'know, at that point, the line between doing that and sitting in a rocking chair and plucking out your favorite chords on an old guitar is starting to get pretty blurry.
And there's another rule I have, probably the most important rule of all, and that's to not ignore a thing just because "its been done before."
Everything is a tool, and you don't ignore all the things a tool might be able to do, just because some other dude used them once.
You don't need new tools, all the time, to make new things, we'd still be living in caves if we all thought shit like that ahaha.
And you don't wanna ignore the tools that bad guys use, either, just because a bad guy used it to do bad things, 'cause there's no such thing as Bad Guy Tools, its all in how you use it, as soon as a Good Guy picks up a Bad Guy Tool it tends to turn into a Good Guy Tool.
That's why I'm okay with drinking, y'know, it shouldn't be "against the rules" for the Good Guys to seek a little lubrication when they need it, after a long hard day of doing Good Deeds and all that shit ahaha.
Anyways, all of these things can be done well, or done poorly, that's how you know that there's an art to 'em.
And there's even all sorts of arts involved in stealing things.
But you ain't never gonna figure 'em out unless you start with being honest with yourself about how dishonest you are.
Y'know, yer just gonna end up being some crazy dude in the land of make believe heh.
I'm not an expert or anything, but I'm pretty sure that Artistic Integrity doesn't start with a river in egypt ahaha.
Well, whatever, we really should get together and make our own TV show.
Yah man, apparently we can just copy shit scene by scene from movies like the Fly and whatever nowadays and we don't even have to do the usual reach-around hat-tip thingie where we do a little name-dropping and point folks in the direction of the thing we stole it from ahaha.
Yah, I dunno, I'm guessing that its 'cause most of the TV audience right now is too young to see R rated movies, so we can just steal willy-nilly from Rated R shit and pretend we came up with all that junk!
Could it get any goddam easier?
See, we should be striking while that iron is still hot baby ahaha.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Emmy Fever
I am neither proud of nor disturbed by the fact that I don't even know what the Emmies are.
I could guess, without looking in the wikipedia (the fact that I can't be bothered to even look it up in the wikipedia oughta tell you all you need to know, you ultra-hip folks can stop reading right now AHAHA), that they're for TV shit, insteada movie shit, 'cause I'm pretty sure (although not totally sure) that the Oscars are for movie shit.
But then there's the Academy Awards and the People's Choice Awards and I have no idea who the Academy is or who The People are but I am sure that nobody has ever asked me to vote for any of this shit so I apparently don't belong to whatever clubs I need to belong to in order to care about the opinions involved in the outcomes of those contests.
I've never watched an award show for anything, now that I think about it, I mean, you name it, I ain't watched it, so my lack of interest in the opinions of invisible people that I don't know anything about isn't limited to movies and television heh.
Oh, this movie won an Oscar, oh that actor won a Egor and an Ernie, y'know, it's all the same to me, that's great, good on you, there, buddy.
I do like those awards for the worst research of the year, the Ignobles or whatever, now that shit is a riot, but I just read about that stuff, y'know, I don't need to see anybody with weird hairdos struttin' up and down a runway with their boobs hanging out (although it certainly wouldn't hurt, now that I think about it heh).
Then again, I dunno who gets to vote on the Ignobles either, who the hell even knows what all the mad scientists are doing, man, I really oughta join that club, I could be hanging out at underwater supervillain research bases and stuff, checking out the latest info on which toads are the tastiest to lick, holy shit man, that'd be sweet ahaha.
I could guess, without looking in the wikipedia (the fact that I can't be bothered to even look it up in the wikipedia oughta tell you all you need to know, you ultra-hip folks can stop reading right now AHAHA), that they're for TV shit, insteada movie shit, 'cause I'm pretty sure (although not totally sure) that the Oscars are for movie shit.
But then there's the Academy Awards and the People's Choice Awards and I have no idea who the Academy is or who The People are but I am sure that nobody has ever asked me to vote for any of this shit so I apparently don't belong to whatever clubs I need to belong to in order to care about the opinions involved in the outcomes of those contests.
I've never watched an award show for anything, now that I think about it, I mean, you name it, I ain't watched it, so my lack of interest in the opinions of invisible people that I don't know anything about isn't limited to movies and television heh.
Oh, this movie won an Oscar, oh that actor won a Egor and an Ernie, y'know, it's all the same to me, that's great, good on you, there, buddy.
I do like those awards for the worst research of the year, the Ignobles or whatever, now that shit is a riot, but I just read about that stuff, y'know, I don't need to see anybody with weird hairdos struttin' up and down a runway with their boobs hanging out (although it certainly wouldn't hurt, now that I think about it heh).
Then again, I dunno who gets to vote on the Ignobles either, who the hell even knows what all the mad scientists are doing, man, I really oughta join that club, I could be hanging out at underwater supervillain research bases and stuff, checking out the latest info on which toads are the tastiest to lick, holy shit man, that'd be sweet ahaha.
A Three Hour Tour
I heard Heroes is running from 7 to 10 pm central.
That's three hours of Heroes Goodness, man.
That's a lot of Heroes Goodness, actually, I mean, seriously, damn, three hours, man, hmm, that's a lot of Heroes to take in, y'know, in one sitting.
I think Boston Legal is starting up today, too.
Yah, its on at 9pm.
Man, there's an interesting who-would-win, Hulk Vs. the Thing type of fight, y'know, Boston Legal fans vs. Heroes fans, gonna take me a bit to get my aching head around that one ahaha.
I'm a fan of both shows, so its a contest between my Inner Boston Legal Fan Versus my internal Heroes-fan-who-has-already-been-stuck-eating-Heroes-for-two-hours-and-I-dunno-if-I-can-stand-three-hours-of-broadcast-television-in-a-day sorta Clash of the Titans thing going on there, which complicates things a bit.
And Fringe is tomorrow, y'know, the show where they give you sixty seconds to pee.
Sixty seconds is not enough time to pee and wash your hands afterwards, y'know.
Well, I'm just saying.
Yah you Fringe Fans ain't fooling me man, I ain't sharing my popcorn with any of you fuckers ahaha.
That's three hours of Heroes Goodness, man.
That's a lot of Heroes Goodness, actually, I mean, seriously, damn, three hours, man, hmm, that's a lot of Heroes to take in, y'know, in one sitting.
I think Boston Legal is starting up today, too.
Yah, its on at 9pm.
Man, there's an interesting who-would-win, Hulk Vs. the Thing type of fight, y'know, Boston Legal fans vs. Heroes fans, gonna take me a bit to get my aching head around that one ahaha.
I'm a fan of both shows, so its a contest between my Inner Boston Legal Fan Versus my internal Heroes-fan-who-has-already-been-stuck-eating-Heroes-for-two-hours-and-I-dunno-if-I-can-stand-three-hours-of-broadcast-television-in-a-day sorta Clash of the Titans thing going on there, which complicates things a bit.
And Fringe is tomorrow, y'know, the show where they give you sixty seconds to pee.
Sixty seconds is not enough time to pee and wash your hands afterwards, y'know.
Well, I'm just saying.
Yah you Fringe Fans ain't fooling me man, I ain't sharing my popcorn with any of you fuckers ahaha.
Spread Around S'more of This Rare Talent
Man, I need to hook up with somebody making movies or something.
Screw this game crap, its too much work for everybody involved, its too much work to make the shit, its too much work to play the shit, and it don't pay enough.
Not when we could be having fun eating donuts on location and being creative while making something that was an hour and a half of fun to watch and eat donuts to and be done with it.
Something that was composed of short, cheetah-like bursts of energy, captured on film, something we could prepare ourselves for and execute over and over again, insteada some long-ass overly drawn-out endurance-test-of-a-thing where only the most exhausted shit manages to make it through the spanking machine and leave faint impressions on the tape.
Something that would matter more in the long run anyways by virtue of its sheer accessibility alone.
A television show would probably be better than making movies, movies are kinda bad for some of the same reasons games are bad, its the timing of the it, the pacing involved in the making and enjoyment of it, time is really the red-headed step child of dimensions, we're not real good at looking at it and understanding it yet, y'know, compared to length, width, and height, we're just barely starting to get our heads around the way things move through time, we like to look at stuff as snapshots, frozen in time, 'cause we get confused when all the parts start to move again, and it gets hard to measure things, and we get lost.
Movies are bad 'cause you got too much time to make 'em, and you don't gotta make as many of 'em, same as games.
But whatever, somebody's gotta be making a TV show that we could hook up with, and I don't mean something that's already famous, I don't wanna work on Battlestar Galactica or Stargate or any of that shit, I want something that we're free to give personality to, something we can bring to life any way we want without getting yelled at ahaha.
Oh, its probably just as bad as everything else, where some idiot execs from somewhere tell you that you oughta change the ending of the season finale and whatever, but there's a million ways to get around that kinda shit.
Yah, the only thing really bad about TV is the censorship stuff, when you automatically sorta tone yourself down and self-edit, but that can actually be a good thing sometimes, too, y'know, I could give examples, like the way the dude from Hill Street Blues mellowed out Lynch on Twin Peaks, and the result was better than the sum of the parts, there's an art to toning things down in places, its the big difference between Hitchcock and Tarantino, really, ain't it?
Y'know, those are the calm little avenues of shadowy accessibility for folks with more delicate sensibilities and your points of contrast amidst the hot and glaring splashes of technicolor zombie blood spatter sizzling on the pavement and the daisy duke hitchhiker climbing-into-the-VW-bus ass-shots in the orangey-orange sunshine.
Dude, somebody should get Tarantino to produce a TV show, and then hire me to help them eat the donuts and act as an advisor or something.
Yah, we can sell it to Showtime or some shit, pfft, those dudes will buy anything, juss lookit that Medieval piece of soft-porn shit they got and all the marketing behind it, I mean, seriously, could a show be a bigger waste of time and more boring than that?
I feel bad for the marketing geniuses that are wasting their lives and talent trying to prop pieces of crap like that up.
Y'know, how many times have you said to yourself, "man, the goddam commercials are better than this show, I wish the guys who were making these commercials would do a show!" ahaha.
I think the furniture is the most interesting thing on the Tudors, its like Antiques Road Show With Tits or something heh.
Oh whatever.
Seriously though, somebody get on that shit and hook us up!
Y'know, its like, wtf, I could write a season of Lost every day, there's all this "rare talent" that's just going to waste ahaha.
"Dude, I think you mighta painted yourself into a corner there, y'know, with the polar bear sequence."
"Pfft don't worry about it, I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually."
"Well, whatever, as long as this whole thing don't turn out to be some kinda stupid-ass dream, where the guy wakes up at the end and goes..."
"..."
Shit man, I could write a full season of a show about a bunch of guys making a show like Lost in a day ahaha.
And heck, Sundry could probably wrote two seasons worth of that kinda shit in a day AHAHA.
Yah man, we should all band together and create some kinda Creative Consulting Company.
All we really need is somebody specialized in creating Creative Consulting Companies, some kinda creative creative consulting company creative consultant guy from a creative consulting company creation consultation company or something.
Yah, I dunno how to do that shit, "I'm just a cheerleader" ahaha.
Screw this game crap, its too much work for everybody involved, its too much work to make the shit, its too much work to play the shit, and it don't pay enough.
Not when we could be having fun eating donuts on location and being creative while making something that was an hour and a half of fun to watch and eat donuts to and be done with it.
Something that was composed of short, cheetah-like bursts of energy, captured on film, something we could prepare ourselves for and execute over and over again, insteada some long-ass overly drawn-out endurance-test-of-a-thing where only the most exhausted shit manages to make it through the spanking machine and leave faint impressions on the tape.
Something that would matter more in the long run anyways by virtue of its sheer accessibility alone.
A television show would probably be better than making movies, movies are kinda bad for some of the same reasons games are bad, its the timing of the it, the pacing involved in the making and enjoyment of it, time is really the red-headed step child of dimensions, we're not real good at looking at it and understanding it yet, y'know, compared to length, width, and height, we're just barely starting to get our heads around the way things move through time, we like to look at stuff as snapshots, frozen in time, 'cause we get confused when all the parts start to move again, and it gets hard to measure things, and we get lost.
Movies are bad 'cause you got too much time to make 'em, and you don't gotta make as many of 'em, same as games.
But whatever, somebody's gotta be making a TV show that we could hook up with, and I don't mean something that's already famous, I don't wanna work on Battlestar Galactica or Stargate or any of that shit, I want something that we're free to give personality to, something we can bring to life any way we want without getting yelled at ahaha.
Oh, its probably just as bad as everything else, where some idiot execs from somewhere tell you that you oughta change the ending of the season finale and whatever, but there's a million ways to get around that kinda shit.
Yah, the only thing really bad about TV is the censorship stuff, when you automatically sorta tone yourself down and self-edit, but that can actually be a good thing sometimes, too, y'know, I could give examples, like the way the dude from Hill Street Blues mellowed out Lynch on Twin Peaks, and the result was better than the sum of the parts, there's an art to toning things down in places, its the big difference between Hitchcock and Tarantino, really, ain't it?
Y'know, those are the calm little avenues of shadowy accessibility for folks with more delicate sensibilities and your points of contrast amidst the hot and glaring splashes of technicolor zombie blood spatter sizzling on the pavement and the daisy duke hitchhiker climbing-into-the-VW-bus ass-shots in the orangey-orange sunshine.
Dude, somebody should get Tarantino to produce a TV show, and then hire me to help them eat the donuts and act as an advisor or something.
Yah, we can sell it to Showtime or some shit, pfft, those dudes will buy anything, juss lookit that Medieval piece of soft-porn shit they got and all the marketing behind it, I mean, seriously, could a show be a bigger waste of time and more boring than that?
I feel bad for the marketing geniuses that are wasting their lives and talent trying to prop pieces of crap like that up.
Y'know, how many times have you said to yourself, "man, the goddam commercials are better than this show, I wish the guys who were making these commercials would do a show!" ahaha.
I think the furniture is the most interesting thing on the Tudors, its like Antiques Road Show With Tits or something heh.
Oh whatever.
Seriously though, somebody get on that shit and hook us up!
Y'know, its like, wtf, I could write a season of Lost every day, there's all this "rare talent" that's just going to waste ahaha.
"Dude, I think you mighta painted yourself into a corner there, y'know, with the polar bear sequence."
"Pfft don't worry about it, I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually."
"Well, whatever, as long as this whole thing don't turn out to be some kinda stupid-ass dream, where the guy wakes up at the end and goes..."
"..."
Shit man, I could write a full season of a show about a bunch of guys making a show like Lost in a day ahaha.
And heck, Sundry could probably wrote two seasons worth of that kinda shit in a day AHAHA.
Yah man, we should all band together and create some kinda Creative Consulting Company.
All we really need is somebody specialized in creating Creative Consulting Companies, some kinda creative creative consulting company creative consultant guy from a creative consulting company creation consultation company or something.
Yah, I dunno how to do that shit, "I'm just a cheerleader" ahaha.
Flying Man
"Your character is supposed to be going through a rough patch, where he's filled with sorrow over the loss of his brother and turned to drinking, that's why we need you to grow a beard or something."
Later...
"Hmm, he still doesn't look like a drunk going through a rough patch."
"Yah, naw, he looks like a News Anchor celebrating Abraham Lincoln Day with a Fake Beard or something."
"Man, this is bad."
"There's like, no way to make this dude look kinda scuzzy and rough around the edges, he's just too 80s or something."
"Yah, its just gonna end up being confusing for the audience."
"Mebbe we oughta write this part out."
Later...
"Hmm, he still doesn't look like a drunk going through a rough patch."
"Yah, naw, he looks like a News Anchor celebrating Abraham Lincoln Day with a Fake Beard or something."
"Man, this is bad."
"There's like, no way to make this dude look kinda scuzzy and rough around the edges, he's just too 80s or something."
"Yah, its just gonna end up being confusing for the audience."
"Mebbe we oughta write this part out."
Hay Fever Hero Rundown
First off, you got your Hiro Nakamura.
He's really the heart of the show, I mean, as far as I'm concerned, we could just skip the rest of it and stick with Hiro the whole time and I'd be perfectly happy, he's an old fashioned superhero, cheerful and optimistic about people and all that (and he's got his officespace sidekick Ando to carry any pessimism that needs carrying), but its cleverly done and totally believable and everything.
That whole samurai thing from last season was kickass.
Where it turns out that his dad Sulu raised his kid on stories of this hero from ancient times that turns out to be the very kid that he's telling the stories to who went back in time and made sure that all the stories he heard turned out right?
Goddam that was good, seriously.
Then you got Noah Bennett, Claire's dad, who is a totally kickass character, which is why they keep threatening to kill him off, to keep us watching.
He's sorta like the Revenge of Clark Kent and Batman and the Husband from Bewitched or something, 'cause he ain't got any super powers, y'know, he's just got training and smarts, but he's also got this "is he a good guy or a bad guy" thing running along on the side.
Bad guys that turn into good guys is always a good one.
Like his buddy, the Haitian, who started out as a totally scary dude that never said a word, with the totally freaky power to make you forget shit or even turn you into a vegetable.
And then, when he finally speaks, he turns out to be this sweet-hearted and gentle religious dude who is anything but selfish, he's like all tapped in to the bigger picture and stuff.
Even though his power and the stuff he has to do is anything but sympathetic and gentle heh.
That's pure gold, baby.
And I like Syler, the bad guy, but I think they totally screwed up when they did that stuff with his mom, where they made him into one of those serial killers that was abused when he was a kid, as if that explains everything.
That's the same kinda thing as any movie where the serial killer is a serial killer just because he's gay, as if that explained everything.
Syler woulda been a better character without that "I was abused so I became a serial killer" shit, y'know?
He woulda been better as a regular guy, with a horrible-to-use needs-to-eat-brains super power, who gave in to using it just 'cause it made him incredibly powerful.
Its like the choice between morality and power right there, you can be good guy, and be all weak and stuff, or you could eat brains and fly and lift things with your mind and read people's thoughts and live forever.
You don't need any "mom whipped me in the tub" shit for that, that's a tough one even if your momma didn't love you enough heh.
Aside from the dumb reasoning, Syler is totally kickass as a badguy, I loved the junk where he was driving around in Mexico with that girl with the black stuff that came out of her eyes and her brother and that dude that they busted out of jail, that was award-worthy writing and directing and everything right there, they coulda easily had a spin-off show based on Joyrides with Syler or something heh.
Well, aside from the way they clumped it together with the Big Cowinky-dink that made everybody groan, where they're driving along and they find Syler laying in the middle of the road, ugh man, that was beyond terrible, and the Recovery of Syler, previous to that, with that chick who do illusions (which was cool), made no sense at all.
But I assume they'll go back and make more sense out of that later, in a world where people can travel through time and read minds and predict the future and stuff, its easy to explain away bad bits of plot with a quick flashback or whatever, I assume that the illusion chick was only working for the people who fixed Syler up, that she was sorta like a tasty little mouse dumped into a snake cage, and that there's more to that story.
As far as the rest of the folks on the show go, they're just kinda marching along in place, I wouldn't quit watching the show if any of the rest of 'em got killed off.
A lot of 'em had good setups, as characters, and they got some really good and likeable actors, like that almost-too-pretty-to-be-a-man Mohinder guy, but they haven't really gone anywhere with 'em, the Policeman who can read minds is bottoming out and losing his humanity (which was the only thing he had going for him as a character), the flying senator never had any humanity, Claire's "you don't know what its like to have super powers" crap is really getting old.
And they're completely ignoring the murderous internet porn chick with split personalities, who is the show's version of Wolverine.
And I really don't like the good guy Neo-wannabe version of Syler, the guy who doesn't have to eat brains to steal everybody else's power, I mean, it seems so unfair to have that dude be the "superman" that fights Syler, 'cause his power was so easy to aquire in comparison, where the bad guy actually had to put some elbow grease into it, to say the least heh.
I seriously hope that Syler eats his brain, and gets that guy's power, 'cause then Syler won't have to eat brains anymore ahaha.
He's really the heart of the show, I mean, as far as I'm concerned, we could just skip the rest of it and stick with Hiro the whole time and I'd be perfectly happy, he's an old fashioned superhero, cheerful and optimistic about people and all that (and he's got his officespace sidekick Ando to carry any pessimism that needs carrying), but its cleverly done and totally believable and everything.
That whole samurai thing from last season was kickass.
Where it turns out that his dad Sulu raised his kid on stories of this hero from ancient times that turns out to be the very kid that he's telling the stories to who went back in time and made sure that all the stories he heard turned out right?
Goddam that was good, seriously.
Then you got Noah Bennett, Claire's dad, who is a totally kickass character, which is why they keep threatening to kill him off, to keep us watching.
He's sorta like the Revenge of Clark Kent and Batman and the Husband from Bewitched or something, 'cause he ain't got any super powers, y'know, he's just got training and smarts, but he's also got this "is he a good guy or a bad guy" thing running along on the side.
Bad guys that turn into good guys is always a good one.
Like his buddy, the Haitian, who started out as a totally scary dude that never said a word, with the totally freaky power to make you forget shit or even turn you into a vegetable.
And then, when he finally speaks, he turns out to be this sweet-hearted and gentle religious dude who is anything but selfish, he's like all tapped in to the bigger picture and stuff.
Even though his power and the stuff he has to do is anything but sympathetic and gentle heh.
That's pure gold, baby.
And I like Syler, the bad guy, but I think they totally screwed up when they did that stuff with his mom, where they made him into one of those serial killers that was abused when he was a kid, as if that explains everything.
That's the same kinda thing as any movie where the serial killer is a serial killer just because he's gay, as if that explained everything.
Syler woulda been a better character without that "I was abused so I became a serial killer" shit, y'know?
He woulda been better as a regular guy, with a horrible-to-use needs-to-eat-brains super power, who gave in to using it just 'cause it made him incredibly powerful.
Its like the choice between morality and power right there, you can be good guy, and be all weak and stuff, or you could eat brains and fly and lift things with your mind and read people's thoughts and live forever.
You don't need any "mom whipped me in the tub" shit for that, that's a tough one even if your momma didn't love you enough heh.
Aside from the dumb reasoning, Syler is totally kickass as a badguy, I loved the junk where he was driving around in Mexico with that girl with the black stuff that came out of her eyes and her brother and that dude that they busted out of jail, that was award-worthy writing and directing and everything right there, they coulda easily had a spin-off show based on Joyrides with Syler or something heh.
Well, aside from the way they clumped it together with the Big Cowinky-dink that made everybody groan, where they're driving along and they find Syler laying in the middle of the road, ugh man, that was beyond terrible, and the Recovery of Syler, previous to that, with that chick who do illusions (which was cool), made no sense at all.
But I assume they'll go back and make more sense out of that later, in a world where people can travel through time and read minds and predict the future and stuff, its easy to explain away bad bits of plot with a quick flashback or whatever, I assume that the illusion chick was only working for the people who fixed Syler up, that she was sorta like a tasty little mouse dumped into a snake cage, and that there's more to that story.
As far as the rest of the folks on the show go, they're just kinda marching along in place, I wouldn't quit watching the show if any of the rest of 'em got killed off.
A lot of 'em had good setups, as characters, and they got some really good and likeable actors, like that almost-too-pretty-to-be-a-man Mohinder guy, but they haven't really gone anywhere with 'em, the Policeman who can read minds is bottoming out and losing his humanity (which was the only thing he had going for him as a character), the flying senator never had any humanity, Claire's "you don't know what its like to have super powers" crap is really getting old.
And they're completely ignoring the murderous internet porn chick with split personalities, who is the show's version of Wolverine.
And I really don't like the good guy Neo-wannabe version of Syler, the guy who doesn't have to eat brains to steal everybody else's power, I mean, it seems so unfair to have that dude be the "superman" that fights Syler, 'cause his power was so easy to aquire in comparison, where the bad guy actually had to put some elbow grease into it, to say the least heh.
I seriously hope that Syler eats his brain, and gets that guy's power, 'cause then Syler won't have to eat brains anymore ahaha.
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