Man I hate commercials but this shit is great heh.
The Original One
The Uh... Other Original One
Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
Part VI
Part VII
Part VIII
Part IX is Missing I Think
Part X
Part XI
Part XII
Part XIII
Part uh... 14
Part uh... Dunno
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Into the Woods
My little brother's kids are playing these games where you roll dice and pit siege engines and knights against monsters on a plastic battlefield arranged on a tabletop.
Miniature War Games, in other words.
Which is the primordial Chainmail pool that Dungeons & Dragons evolved from, much like Drama evolved from simple displays of Ceremonial Combat in the world of Theatre.
Story and roleplaying and all that are beyond them, still, at the age of six and seven, y'know, they don't have enough experience with the world to draw it all together into any kind of complicated picture let alone some kind of epic storyline jam-packed with twists and turns against tradition and subtle insights into the human condition and subtexts and commentary and situations that inspire us to muse over the nature of our own existence and good and evil and converse with each other and all that awesome sorta stuff yet.
But they're on their way, really.
The only reason I ever figured out how to play Dungeons & Dragons was that one of the kids that I played with had this totally kickass bohemian father who was into that Miniature War Games stuff, y'know, the guy had a "study" that was cram-packed with shelf after shelf of historical battle figurines all painted and whatever, and he taught his kid to play D&D, and his kid turned around taught all us dumb hillbillies how to do it.
Coming from a creative and superstitious culture of the swamplands, my own personal mythology made it easy for me to concoct all sorts of stories about evil wizards and black magic out of thin air and on-the-fly, and so I ended up being the Dungeonmaster pretty much all the time, except when one of the two other kids that could do it felt like giving me a break.
And so I sorta skipped the whole War Game bit, and went straight to the Storytelling thingie.
But I read tons of stuff by Gary Gygax and all them, folks who had way more experience than me with all the pitfalls of cooperative storytelling and collaborative art, fields that are still pretty much completely unexplored, except by the original pioneers who established forts out there in the wilderness, and documented and detailed all the different sorts of animals they found out there in the audience, and how to deal with 'em heh.
Fascinating stuff, really, no matter what field of art you deal with, its a layer of interaction that goes far beyond all the junk they teach you about in school, y'know.
That, and the way that the original Dungeons & Dragons junk was written with all sorts of arcane and obscure references and diction, which led to me having some kinda monstrous genius level vocabulary and knowledge of history by the time I reached the age of the thirteen (that I never used afterwards heh), is what I credit Gary Gygax with, doing for me personally.
I'm still a dumb hillbilly, but I'm much more interesting (or at least far more complicated heh) than the average dumb hillbilly ahaha.
And I can spin a mean yarn when we all get wasted around the fire and in the mood for that kinda thing.
Anyways, the world of MMO junk, to me, is in the infant Chainmail slash Ceremonial Combat stage of things.
That's okay, y'know, 'cause things never really leave that stage, not entirely, they just sorta orbit it and take brief jaunts into other areas, unless the game masters and the audience and the game mechanics can handle going somewhere else on a more permanent basis.
I mean, when yer all a bunch of six and seven year old kids, mebbe you can't go anywhere else, and you just gotta live in the dice-rolling monster-mashing loot-the-monster world and take what you can get, I ain't gonna lay no complicated existential mindtrip on you if you ain't never had a girlfriend or seen any signs of injustice in the world or anything, y'know, we can just have fun with all the pretty colors and the scary monsters and gory-awesome special effects and simple good-versus-evil rescue-the-princess find-the-treasure stuff heh.
But that really is the most simple and fundamental layer of the thing we're all doing, y'know.
And it don't really take a genius or anything to get us out of that rut, and ride us down the road to other places, either.
Its all been done before in other mediums.
And sometimes its even been half-done in this MMO medium we got, but it always seems like all the guys who lead us down the road a bit almost always turn around and take us back to the same old camp before we really get anywhere interesting.
And the thing that really burns me up is that their excuses for turning around are so goddam lame, man.
Junk like "oh that would only work on a small population server."
Yah?
Well hey man, I've never seen ANYTHING work on a high population server, that's why high population servers are broken up into a million small population "areas" and "instances" run by separate servers ahaha.
And you almost had us all the way there!
We could've established a fort out there and defended it and colonized that new terrain!
We just needed to know that that's what we needed to do before we set out in into the woods in the first place.
And no matter what we do, there will always be a place for the six and seven year old dice rolling monster-list mashing kids, man, 'cause that's the bones and muscles of the beast we're all riding on, in more ways than one, and that simple structure will always be there to fall back on no matter what kinda mysterious and fearsome woods you ride the thing into.
But I think that mysterious and fearsome woods is exactly where we need to go.
And I ain't the only one.
I mention "colonization" a lot in passing, but that's what folks are really doing when they come to your game server, and start gathering materials and crafting and occupying homes and making friends and helping their friends with whatever advantages they've managed to wrestle from the mathematical wilderness of your game.
There's a lot more we could do with that, a lot farther we could go interacting with that kinda thing, and supporting all that kinda stuff and making it easier and more entertaining for everybody to do.
Well, once we get past this Chainmail Bit, where everybody thinks what really matters is what kinda intellectual property you got to make different flavored copies of the same old sterile War Game Figurine dollhouse clothes out of, over and over and over again.
And its not simple, its complicated, but there's all sorts of interesting shit to think about, and talk about, down that road.
Like the way I never roleplay anymore now that I'm almost always on Voicecom, talking about something on TV insteada whatever the hell is going on in the mindless whack-a-mole game I'm playing heh.
And that the really great times are when Ex-b's Wizard figures out the goddam riddle and opens the Magic Door without any of us having to look anything up on a spoiler site.
Because he's actually playing a role, there, man, even if he ain't talking in a funny voice.
But it seems like nobody is talking about that kinda junk.
And those things aren't immutable laws of nature or the end of a conversation, those are only the beginnings.
Seems like they're going everywhichway except for that way, for some reason that is totally unfathomable to me, since I ain't really talking about anything new, and its the stuff all our heroes always talked about.
For some reason, the guys like Koster and McQuaid, that really have taken us down that road some, don't seem to realize the things they've done that actually mattered, y'know, I don't think I've ever heard anybody talk about all the cinematic and awesome shit that McQuaid did in EQ1, or his awesome player pathing things, besides me, and Koster seems lost in a quagmire of contemplation as to the point of his crafting junk and housing stuff and usage-based-skill-system-more-the-merrier-grouping and how all that junk relates to colonization and how he could do all that and allow people to take ownership of stuff and have it act as a guide that strengthens the immersiveness and entertainment value of the worlds he makes instead of weakening it.
With Koster, at least, it seems like he's afraid to do anything that he'd be held responsible for, as far as being a story-teller, y'know, he's always trying to hide his artistic voice and lay all that kinda stuff on his players, insteada guiding them along, as a good Dungeon Master would, y'know, its a delicate balance of not rail-roading them and not offering any entertainment or guidance or Quality Control at all, heh, but there is a balance there that you gotta strike.
Meanwhile McQuaid always seemed to be the opposite of that, heavy on story, y'know, like WoW is, but he beat us to death with the Cult Building Treadmills.
Maybe they're listening to the six and seven year olds, just because there's more of them than anybody else, but that seems so useless to me, since there ain't a lot a lot of room for improvement on that roll-the-dice loot-the-monster layer, y'know?
That shit is time tested and Mother Approved heh.
And babies aren't born thinking that the Original Carnival of Souls is a good movie ahaha.
Ah well, y'know, I'm just swinging wild and hoping to hit a nerve before I completely freeze up turn into a mummy and miss out on all the cool shit of the future when folks finally start figuring everything out.
Miniature War Games, in other words.
Which is the primordial Chainmail pool that Dungeons & Dragons evolved from, much like Drama evolved from simple displays of Ceremonial Combat in the world of Theatre.
Story and roleplaying and all that are beyond them, still, at the age of six and seven, y'know, they don't have enough experience with the world to draw it all together into any kind of complicated picture let alone some kind of epic storyline jam-packed with twists and turns against tradition and subtle insights into the human condition and subtexts and commentary and situations that inspire us to muse over the nature of our own existence and good and evil and converse with each other and all that awesome sorta stuff yet.
But they're on their way, really.
The only reason I ever figured out how to play Dungeons & Dragons was that one of the kids that I played with had this totally kickass bohemian father who was into that Miniature War Games stuff, y'know, the guy had a "study" that was cram-packed with shelf after shelf of historical battle figurines all painted and whatever, and he taught his kid to play D&D, and his kid turned around taught all us dumb hillbillies how to do it.
Coming from a creative and superstitious culture of the swamplands, my own personal mythology made it easy for me to concoct all sorts of stories about evil wizards and black magic out of thin air and on-the-fly, and so I ended up being the Dungeonmaster pretty much all the time, except when one of the two other kids that could do it felt like giving me a break.
And so I sorta skipped the whole War Game bit, and went straight to the Storytelling thingie.
But I read tons of stuff by Gary Gygax and all them, folks who had way more experience than me with all the pitfalls of cooperative storytelling and collaborative art, fields that are still pretty much completely unexplored, except by the original pioneers who established forts out there in the wilderness, and documented and detailed all the different sorts of animals they found out there in the audience, and how to deal with 'em heh.
Fascinating stuff, really, no matter what field of art you deal with, its a layer of interaction that goes far beyond all the junk they teach you about in school, y'know.
That, and the way that the original Dungeons & Dragons junk was written with all sorts of arcane and obscure references and diction, which led to me having some kinda monstrous genius level vocabulary and knowledge of history by the time I reached the age of the thirteen (that I never used afterwards heh), is what I credit Gary Gygax with, doing for me personally.
I'm still a dumb hillbilly, but I'm much more interesting (or at least far more complicated heh) than the average dumb hillbilly ahaha.
And I can spin a mean yarn when we all get wasted around the fire and in the mood for that kinda thing.
Anyways, the world of MMO junk, to me, is in the infant Chainmail slash Ceremonial Combat stage of things.
That's okay, y'know, 'cause things never really leave that stage, not entirely, they just sorta orbit it and take brief jaunts into other areas, unless the game masters and the audience and the game mechanics can handle going somewhere else on a more permanent basis.
I mean, when yer all a bunch of six and seven year old kids, mebbe you can't go anywhere else, and you just gotta live in the dice-rolling monster-mashing loot-the-monster world and take what you can get, I ain't gonna lay no complicated existential mindtrip on you if you ain't never had a girlfriend or seen any signs of injustice in the world or anything, y'know, we can just have fun with all the pretty colors and the scary monsters and gory-awesome special effects and simple good-versus-evil rescue-the-princess find-the-treasure stuff heh.
But that really is the most simple and fundamental layer of the thing we're all doing, y'know.
And it don't really take a genius or anything to get us out of that rut, and ride us down the road to other places, either.
Its all been done before in other mediums.
And sometimes its even been half-done in this MMO medium we got, but it always seems like all the guys who lead us down the road a bit almost always turn around and take us back to the same old camp before we really get anywhere interesting.
And the thing that really burns me up is that their excuses for turning around are so goddam lame, man.
Junk like "oh that would only work on a small population server."
Yah?
Well hey man, I've never seen ANYTHING work on a high population server, that's why high population servers are broken up into a million small population "areas" and "instances" run by separate servers ahaha.
And you almost had us all the way there!
We could've established a fort out there and defended it and colonized that new terrain!
We just needed to know that that's what we needed to do before we set out in into the woods in the first place.
And no matter what we do, there will always be a place for the six and seven year old dice rolling monster-list mashing kids, man, 'cause that's the bones and muscles of the beast we're all riding on, in more ways than one, and that simple structure will always be there to fall back on no matter what kinda mysterious and fearsome woods you ride the thing into.
But I think that mysterious and fearsome woods is exactly where we need to go.
And I ain't the only one.
I mention "colonization" a lot in passing, but that's what folks are really doing when they come to your game server, and start gathering materials and crafting and occupying homes and making friends and helping their friends with whatever advantages they've managed to wrestle from the mathematical wilderness of your game.
There's a lot more we could do with that, a lot farther we could go interacting with that kinda thing, and supporting all that kinda stuff and making it easier and more entertaining for everybody to do.
Well, once we get past this Chainmail Bit, where everybody thinks what really matters is what kinda intellectual property you got to make different flavored copies of the same old sterile War Game Figurine dollhouse clothes out of, over and over and over again.
And its not simple, its complicated, but there's all sorts of interesting shit to think about, and talk about, down that road.
Like the way I never roleplay anymore now that I'm almost always on Voicecom, talking about something on TV insteada whatever the hell is going on in the mindless whack-a-mole game I'm playing heh.
And that the really great times are when Ex-b's Wizard figures out the goddam riddle and opens the Magic Door without any of us having to look anything up on a spoiler site.
Because he's actually playing a role, there, man, even if he ain't talking in a funny voice.
But it seems like nobody is talking about that kinda junk.
And those things aren't immutable laws of nature or the end of a conversation, those are only the beginnings.
Seems like they're going everywhichway except for that way, for some reason that is totally unfathomable to me, since I ain't really talking about anything new, and its the stuff all our heroes always talked about.
For some reason, the guys like Koster and McQuaid, that really have taken us down that road some, don't seem to realize the things they've done that actually mattered, y'know, I don't think I've ever heard anybody talk about all the cinematic and awesome shit that McQuaid did in EQ1, or his awesome player pathing things, besides me, and Koster seems lost in a quagmire of contemplation as to the point of his crafting junk and housing stuff and usage-based-skill-system-more-the-merrier-grouping and how all that junk relates to colonization and how he could do all that and allow people to take ownership of stuff and have it act as a guide that strengthens the immersiveness and entertainment value of the worlds he makes instead of weakening it.
With Koster, at least, it seems like he's afraid to do anything that he'd be held responsible for, as far as being a story-teller, y'know, he's always trying to hide his artistic voice and lay all that kinda stuff on his players, insteada guiding them along, as a good Dungeon Master would, y'know, its a delicate balance of not rail-roading them and not offering any entertainment or guidance or Quality Control at all, heh, but there is a balance there that you gotta strike.
Meanwhile McQuaid always seemed to be the opposite of that, heavy on story, y'know, like WoW is, but he beat us to death with the Cult Building Treadmills.
Maybe they're listening to the six and seven year olds, just because there's more of them than anybody else, but that seems so useless to me, since there ain't a lot a lot of room for improvement on that roll-the-dice loot-the-monster layer, y'know?
That shit is time tested and Mother Approved heh.
And babies aren't born thinking that the Original Carnival of Souls is a good movie ahaha.
Ah well, y'know, I'm just swinging wild and hoping to hit a nerve before I completely freeze up turn into a mummy and miss out on all the cool shit of the future when folks finally start figuring everything out.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Vampires Versus Werewolves
If its Vampires versus Werewolves, I vote Werewolves.
But if its a movie that's about Vampires versus Werewolves, then they always make Werewolves suck, just like the Japanese guys did to King Kong with King Kong versus Godzilla, so all Vampire Versus Werewolf Movies are actually Vampire Movies, and therefore they suck and can't be considered a real representation of Werewolf Power.
That's just how those Vampire twits are, stacking the cards against the Werewolves, its a sign of weakness, y'know, its just like Computer Games and Cat Lovers, goddam, as a Dog Person I'm so sick of all the Cat Lover Shit in all these games heh.
I don't even really hate Cats, I like 'em, even though I'm allergic to 'em, but the Cat Lovers are getting me a little riled up against 'em and forcing me into a Defend the Dogs position heh.
Its the same thing happening with Godzilla Versus King Kong, and Vampires Versus Werewolves, it makes me root for the one they're giving the shitty end of the stick to.
Now a good werewolf movie is something like them Ginger Snaps ones, man, those movies are badass.
Not as good as Ravenous, but pretty damn close.
Yag, great, now the goddam Wendigos are yoinking the votes away from the Werewolves as a Third Party Candidate in the race against the Vampires heh.
Well, whatever yer poison, Cat, Dog, King Kong, Godzilla, Werewolf or Vampire, at least everybody can agree that the Sasquatches definitely suck it in a battle of Loch Ness Monster Versus the Sasquatches ahaha.
But if its a movie that's about Vampires versus Werewolves, then they always make Werewolves suck, just like the Japanese guys did to King Kong with King Kong versus Godzilla, so all Vampire Versus Werewolf Movies are actually Vampire Movies, and therefore they suck and can't be considered a real representation of Werewolf Power.
That's just how those Vampire twits are, stacking the cards against the Werewolves, its a sign of weakness, y'know, its just like Computer Games and Cat Lovers, goddam, as a Dog Person I'm so sick of all the Cat Lover Shit in all these games heh.
I don't even really hate Cats, I like 'em, even though I'm allergic to 'em, but the Cat Lovers are getting me a little riled up against 'em and forcing me into a Defend the Dogs position heh.
Its the same thing happening with Godzilla Versus King Kong, and Vampires Versus Werewolves, it makes me root for the one they're giving the shitty end of the stick to.
Now a good werewolf movie is something like them Ginger Snaps ones, man, those movies are badass.
Not as good as Ravenous, but pretty damn close.
Yag, great, now the goddam Wendigos are yoinking the votes away from the Werewolves as a Third Party Candidate in the race against the Vampires heh.
Well, whatever yer poison, Cat, Dog, King Kong, Godzilla, Werewolf or Vampire, at least everybody can agree that the Sasquatches definitely suck it in a battle of Loch Ness Monster Versus the Sasquatches ahaha.
Lords of the Ringadingdong
Alright so here's where I'm at in LOTRO.
My loremaster is 46 and I've done his 45th level class quests up to the parts where I realized that I need to kill some 50+ level elite nemesis raid-mobs in the bottom of some valar-forsaken instances at the end of the game just so that I can get the rewards that will be made obsolete by the stuff that my master weaponsmith can make for me for when I hit 47.
And I need to do all that before I can get my eagle pet.
So the odds of all that happening before I hit 50 are like, skinny-to-none, since its so goddam easy and fun to level in Angmar now with all the quests and cool places to fight and stuff.
So I'm a little burned out.
All my other characters are in their 30s and 40s too, so I don't got a lot of diversity there, I mean, I'm always doing the same stuff I did yesterday over and over again whenever I play an alt.
That's sorta my fault for the way I play I guess, but this shit is supposed to be entertainment and I'm the audience in this thing fer the love of mike so finding "faults" with me is a little hard to take seriously y'know.
But when all your guys are 30+, you know you'll never need silver ore or medium hides for anything ever again, and you'll either be in Angmar, Trollshaws, or Misty heh.
So whatever, I guess I'm at the spot where I gotta either look for and join a guild that can help me out, and start thinking about pvp, or do something else.
"Something else" is always so bright and shiny and full of possibilities and potential though y'know ahaha.
My loremaster is 46 and I've done his 45th level class quests up to the parts where I realized that I need to kill some 50+ level elite nemesis raid-mobs in the bottom of some valar-forsaken instances at the end of the game just so that I can get the rewards that will be made obsolete by the stuff that my master weaponsmith can make for me for when I hit 47.
And I need to do all that before I can get my eagle pet.
So the odds of all that happening before I hit 50 are like, skinny-to-none, since its so goddam easy and fun to level in Angmar now with all the quests and cool places to fight and stuff.
So I'm a little burned out.
All my other characters are in their 30s and 40s too, so I don't got a lot of diversity there, I mean, I'm always doing the same stuff I did yesterday over and over again whenever I play an alt.
That's sorta my fault for the way I play I guess, but this shit is supposed to be entertainment and I'm the audience in this thing fer the love of mike so finding "faults" with me is a little hard to take seriously y'know.
But when all your guys are 30+, you know you'll never need silver ore or medium hides for anything ever again, and you'll either be in Angmar, Trollshaws, or Misty heh.
So whatever, I guess I'm at the spot where I gotta either look for and join a guild that can help me out, and start thinking about pvp, or do something else.
"Something else" is always so bright and shiny and full of possibilities and potential though y'know ahaha.
Exhaustia Online
Okay so wtf is going on with Dundee's Spacegame?
My impression was that it was the guys who did Jump To Lightspeed who were like, Wing Commander guys before that, and it was supposed to run on that company that gave us SuperJump and that ill-fated but fun-for-a-month Interstate 76 game, whatever-it-was called, Car Wars or whatever, goddam, I played so many of those "apocalypse car" thingies in the PnP days with my little brother I can't keep that shit straight anymore heh.
There was one where you armored these little airplanes up in a post-apocalyptic world, that was the shit.
Well, actually, the game itself was dumb but designing your own post-apocalyptic airplane and imaginging the fun you could have with it was the shit heh.
Anyways all that stuff made me expect that at least the performance and handling of the game was gonna be pretty awesome, y'know, all smooth and responnnnnnnssssive, not at all like the ground game in SWG ahaha.
So then that SuperJump company farted out a dud with that Mullet King Space Alien Shooter game, whatever-the-heck that thing was called (wasn't it called something "white noise" or "blank check" in Latin?), and then Dundee's Space Game got shitcanned, right?
Even though Dundee's boss's website seemed to be all about lists of stuff he and his guild looted in WoW so you'd figger the guy would know a little bit about a good game I mean shit at least the guy is studying the right goddam thing there ahaha.
Oh man this is so sucky to do to real life people who have their jobs hanging out there on the internet but I can't help it and only the weirdest and most brilliant evil super geniuses in the world read my shit so its not like its a big deal, I mean, they might actually try to help you guys out if I can manage to figger out what the fuck is going on and report it somehow without having to do any spy stuff and research and all that shit AHAHA.
I'm too old for all that.
That's why I'm just asking flat out ahaha.
WTF?
I'm getting a little tired of the sword-n-sorcery thing and the massively multiplayer games that ain't designed around colonization and cooperative play, y'know, like shit man, if yer gonna do another wizard game, let's have a wizard tower that all us wizards can join and get to know each other and work together looking for artifacts and relics and watch each other graduate and pass rites of wizardhood or some shit like that already insteada this single-player game with a out-of-game guild support grafted on to it.
And where the hell is the zombie apocalypse survival game already?
Or the Arcanum-slash-Lovecraft type thingie with bowler hats and flintlock pistols and Blimp Fights?
No space game, no Knight game where you can ride around on a horse with yer buddies and stab peasants with a lance, doesn't seem like anybody is even trying to do anything good, y'know?
Goddang I'm bored ahaha.
And what the heck is up with Sunsword, too?
And why is it so hard to figure out wtf is going on?
Why do I feel like I gotta put on a reporter hat and go undercover and sign up for something and dig through weird third-party websites or some shit?
Shouldn't that junk be like, out front and provided in a manner that small children and drunks and Big Lebowski Dudes like me can easily get our sweaty mits on and understand?
I mean wtf where's the BEEF?
Seems like you guys are only doing things for webmasters and wanna-be game developer guys now or something heh.
I don't wanna have to read Raph Kosters stuff and newsgroups or anything man I want some big posters (in COLOR) that spell it all out and stuff, y'know, something easy on the eyes, like some mostly naked scifi gogo-dancer chicks with beehive hairdos and circa late 50s-early-60s laser guns or something ahaha.
My impression was that it was the guys who did Jump To Lightspeed who were like, Wing Commander guys before that, and it was supposed to run on that company that gave us SuperJump and that ill-fated but fun-for-a-month Interstate 76 game, whatever-it-was called, Car Wars or whatever, goddam, I played so many of those "apocalypse car" thingies in the PnP days with my little brother I can't keep that shit straight anymore heh.
There was one where you armored these little airplanes up in a post-apocalyptic world, that was the shit.
Well, actually, the game itself was dumb but designing your own post-apocalyptic airplane and imaginging the fun you could have with it was the shit heh.
Anyways all that stuff made me expect that at least the performance and handling of the game was gonna be pretty awesome, y'know, all smooth and responnnnnnnssssive, not at all like the ground game in SWG ahaha.
So then that SuperJump company farted out a dud with that Mullet King Space Alien Shooter game, whatever-the-heck that thing was called (wasn't it called something "white noise" or "blank check" in Latin?), and then Dundee's Space Game got shitcanned, right?
Even though Dundee's boss's website seemed to be all about lists of stuff he and his guild looted in WoW so you'd figger the guy would know a little bit about a good game I mean shit at least the guy is studying the right goddam thing there ahaha.
Oh man this is so sucky to do to real life people who have their jobs hanging out there on the internet but I can't help it and only the weirdest and most brilliant evil super geniuses in the world read my shit so its not like its a big deal, I mean, they might actually try to help you guys out if I can manage to figger out what the fuck is going on and report it somehow without having to do any spy stuff and research and all that shit AHAHA.
I'm too old for all that.
That's why I'm just asking flat out ahaha.
WTF?
I'm getting a little tired of the sword-n-sorcery thing and the massively multiplayer games that ain't designed around colonization and cooperative play, y'know, like shit man, if yer gonna do another wizard game, let's have a wizard tower that all us wizards can join and get to know each other and work together looking for artifacts and relics and watch each other graduate and pass rites of wizardhood or some shit like that already insteada this single-player game with a out-of-game guild support grafted on to it.
And where the hell is the zombie apocalypse survival game already?
Or the Arcanum-slash-Lovecraft type thingie with bowler hats and flintlock pistols and Blimp Fights?
No space game, no Knight game where you can ride around on a horse with yer buddies and stab peasants with a lance, doesn't seem like anybody is even trying to do anything good, y'know?
Goddang I'm bored ahaha.
And what the heck is up with Sunsword, too?
And why is it so hard to figure out wtf is going on?
Why do I feel like I gotta put on a reporter hat and go undercover and sign up for something and dig through weird third-party websites or some shit?
Shouldn't that junk be like, out front and provided in a manner that small children and drunks and Big Lebowski Dudes like me can easily get our sweaty mits on and understand?
I mean wtf where's the BEEF?
Seems like you guys are only doing things for webmasters and wanna-be game developer guys now or something heh.
I don't wanna have to read Raph Kosters stuff and newsgroups or anything man I want some big posters (in COLOR) that spell it all out and stuff, y'know, something easy on the eyes, like some mostly naked scifi gogo-dancer chicks with beehive hairdos and circa late 50s-early-60s laser guns or something ahaha.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Fried Green Tomatoes
Y'know how there musta been some poor dumb caveman bastard that all the other cavemen tricked into eating and smoking all sorts of stuff to see if it was poisonous or not?
And then the really amazing thing is that, even after they figured out that something was poisonous at the cost of one cavemen, they didn't just give up on the thing that killed him and stop things right there, y'know, they kept going, 'cause they like, tried boiling it and then eating it, to see if the results would be different, and junk like that.
Seriously, think about something as simple as tomatoes, which are poisonous until they get ripe and red.
Or on the extreme end, think about those goddam pufferfish things that the japanese or somebody eats, where you might just get paralyzed for nine hours or some shit, I mean, somebody musta had a lot of poisonous pufferfish laying around to keep trying to figure out how to eat those freakin' things without dying ahaha.
Anyways, so there's all this hard-won knowledge that we just take for granted, stuff like "don't eat green tomaters" and shit.
And although we do tend to name the junk that's okay to eat after the guy who figured out how to cook it, we tend to never name the poisonous shit after the guy who died testing it for some reason, guess we're ashamed of it or something heh.
Anyways its really just a bunch of stuff that somebody just told us was true, stuff that we really don't know is true.
And even if it is true, which we can't be sure of, we still don't know how far somebody went, trying out different cooking processes and stuff like boiling the goddam things and whatever to make it untrue.
Stuff like "mushrooms are mostly poisonous."
How do we know that mushrooms really are mostly poisonous?
The truth is, we don't know.
And what if the guy who was testing the mushrooms found a really good kind of mushroom and he didn't wanna share it with us so he just told us it was poisonous so he could have 'em all to himself?
Ah, see, yah, don't think that ever happened, huh?
Never crossed your mind?
C'mon, you know that had to happen at least one time, and that means there's gotta be at least one incredibly edibly awesome thing out there that everybody just thinks is poisonous.
What if all the stuff we think is poisonous is actually so goddam extra-tasty and whatever that folks with the "inside knowledge" are hogging it all?
That's why I think we need to retest everything, y'know?
Starting with all the mushrooms in the forest.
So somebody has to get on that heh.
And then the really amazing thing is that, even after they figured out that something was poisonous at the cost of one cavemen, they didn't just give up on the thing that killed him and stop things right there, y'know, they kept going, 'cause they like, tried boiling it and then eating it, to see if the results would be different, and junk like that.
Seriously, think about something as simple as tomatoes, which are poisonous until they get ripe and red.
Or on the extreme end, think about those goddam pufferfish things that the japanese or somebody eats, where you might just get paralyzed for nine hours or some shit, I mean, somebody musta had a lot of poisonous pufferfish laying around to keep trying to figure out how to eat those freakin' things without dying ahaha.
Anyways, so there's all this hard-won knowledge that we just take for granted, stuff like "don't eat green tomaters" and shit.
And although we do tend to name the junk that's okay to eat after the guy who figured out how to cook it, we tend to never name the poisonous shit after the guy who died testing it for some reason, guess we're ashamed of it or something heh.
Anyways its really just a bunch of stuff that somebody just told us was true, stuff that we really don't know is true.
And even if it is true, which we can't be sure of, we still don't know how far somebody went, trying out different cooking processes and stuff like boiling the goddam things and whatever to make it untrue.
Stuff like "mushrooms are mostly poisonous."
How do we know that mushrooms really are mostly poisonous?
The truth is, we don't know.
And what if the guy who was testing the mushrooms found a really good kind of mushroom and he didn't wanna share it with us so he just told us it was poisonous so he could have 'em all to himself?
Ah, see, yah, don't think that ever happened, huh?
Never crossed your mind?
C'mon, you know that had to happen at least one time, and that means there's gotta be at least one incredibly edibly awesome thing out there that everybody just thinks is poisonous.
What if all the stuff we think is poisonous is actually so goddam extra-tasty and whatever that folks with the "inside knowledge" are hogging it all?
That's why I think we need to retest everything, y'know?
Starting with all the mushrooms in the forest.
So somebody has to get on that heh.
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