Vampires Versus Werewolves

If its Vampires versus Werewolves, I vote Werewolves.

But if its a movie that's about Vampires versus Werewolves, then they always make Werewolves suck, just like the Japanese guys did to King Kong with King Kong versus Godzilla, so all Vampire Versus Werewolf Movies are actually Vampire Movies, and therefore they suck and can't be considered a real representation of Werewolf Power.

That's just how those Vampire twits are, stacking the cards against the Werewolves, its a sign of weakness, y'know, its just like Computer Games and Cat Lovers, goddam, as a Dog Person I'm so sick of all the Cat Lover Shit in all these games heh.

I don't even really hate Cats, I like 'em, even though I'm allergic to 'em, but the Cat Lovers are getting me a little riled up against 'em and forcing me into a Defend the Dogs position heh.

Its the same thing happening with Godzilla Versus King Kong, and Vampires Versus Werewolves, it makes me root for the one they're giving the shitty end of the stick to.

Now a good werewolf movie is something like them Ginger Snaps ones, man, those movies are badass.

Not as good as Ravenous, but pretty damn close.

Yag, great, now the goddam Wendigos are yoinking the votes away from the Werewolves as a Third Party Candidate in the race against the Vampires heh.

Well, whatever yer poison, Cat, Dog, King Kong, Godzilla, Werewolf or Vampire, at least everybody can agree that the Sasquatches definitely suck it in a battle of Loch Ness Monster Versus the Sasquatches ahaha.

Lords of the Ringadingdong

Alright so here's where I'm at in LOTRO.

My loremaster is 46 and I've done his 45th level class quests up to the parts where I realized that I need to kill some 50+ level elite nemesis raid-mobs in the bottom of some valar-forsaken instances at the end of the game just so that I can get the rewards that will be made obsolete by the stuff that my master weaponsmith can make for me for when I hit 47.

And I need to do all that before I can get my eagle pet.

So the odds of all that happening before I hit 50 are like, skinny-to-none, since its so goddam easy and fun to level in Angmar now with all the quests and cool places to fight and stuff.

So I'm a little burned out.

All my other characters are in their 30s and 40s too, so I don't got a lot of diversity there, I mean, I'm always doing the same stuff I did yesterday over and over again whenever I play an alt.

That's sorta my fault for the way I play I guess, but this shit is supposed to be entertainment and I'm the audience in this thing fer the love of mike so finding "faults" with me is a little hard to take seriously y'know.

But when all your guys are 30+, you know you'll never need silver ore or medium hides for anything ever again, and you'll either be in Angmar, Trollshaws, or Misty heh.

So whatever, I guess I'm at the spot where I gotta either look for and join a guild that can help me out, and start thinking about pvp, or do something else.

"Something else" is always so bright and shiny and full of possibilities and potential though y'know ahaha.

Exhaustia Online

Okay so wtf is going on with Dundee's Spacegame?

My impression was that it was the guys who did Jump To Lightspeed who were like, Wing Commander guys before that, and it was supposed to run on that company that gave us SuperJump and that ill-fated but fun-for-a-month Interstate 76 game, whatever-it-was called, Car Wars or whatever, goddam, I played so many of those "apocalypse car" thingies in the PnP days with my little brother I can't keep that shit straight anymore heh.

There was one where you armored these little airplanes up in a post-apocalyptic world, that was the shit.

Well, actually, the game itself was dumb but designing your own post-apocalyptic airplane and imaginging the fun you could have with it was the shit heh.

Anyways all that stuff made me expect that at least the performance and handling of the game was gonna be pretty awesome, y'know, all smooth and responnnnnnnssssive, not at all like the ground game in SWG ahaha.

So then that SuperJump company farted out a dud with that Mullet King Space Alien Shooter game, whatever-the-heck that thing was called (wasn't it called something "white noise" or "blank check" in Latin?), and then Dundee's Space Game got shitcanned, right?

Even though Dundee's boss's website seemed to be all about lists of stuff he and his guild looted in WoW so you'd figger the guy would know a little bit about a good game I mean shit at least the guy is studying the right goddam thing there ahaha.

Oh man this is so sucky to do to real life people who have their jobs hanging out there on the internet but I can't help it and only the weirdest and most brilliant evil super geniuses in the world read my shit so its not like its a big deal, I mean, they might actually try to help you guys out if I can manage to figger out what the fuck is going on and report it somehow without having to do any spy stuff and research and all that shit AHAHA.

I'm too old for all that.

That's why I'm just asking flat out ahaha.

WTF?

I'm getting a little tired of the sword-n-sorcery thing and the massively multiplayer games that ain't designed around colonization and cooperative play, y'know, like shit man, if yer gonna do another wizard game, let's have a wizard tower that all us wizards can join and get to know each other and work together looking for artifacts and relics and watch each other graduate and pass rites of wizardhood or some shit like that already insteada this single-player game with a out-of-game guild support grafted on to it.

And where the hell is the zombie apocalypse survival game already?

Or the Arcanum-slash-Lovecraft type thingie with bowler hats and flintlock pistols and Blimp Fights?

No space game, no Knight game where you can ride around on a horse with yer buddies and stab peasants with a lance, doesn't seem like anybody is even trying to do anything good, y'know?

Goddang I'm bored ahaha.

And what the heck is up with Sunsword, too?

And why is it so hard to figure out wtf is going on?

Why do I feel like I gotta put on a reporter hat and go undercover and sign up for something and dig through weird third-party websites or some shit?

Shouldn't that junk be like, out front and provided in a manner that small children and drunks and Big Lebowski Dudes like me can easily get our sweaty mits on and understand?

I mean wtf where's the BEEF?

Seems like you guys are only doing things for webmasters and wanna-be game developer guys now or something heh.

I don't wanna have to read Raph Kosters stuff and newsgroups or anything man I want some big posters (in COLOR) that spell it all out and stuff, y'know, something easy on the eyes, like some mostly naked scifi gogo-dancer chicks with beehive hairdos and circa late 50s-early-60s laser guns or something ahaha.

Fried Green Tomatoes

Y'know how there musta been some poor dumb caveman bastard that all the other cavemen tricked into eating and smoking all sorts of stuff to see if it was poisonous or not?

And then the really amazing thing is that, even after they figured out that something was poisonous at the cost of one cavemen, they didn't just give up on the thing that killed him and stop things right there, y'know, they kept going, 'cause they like, tried boiling it and then eating it, to see if the results would be different, and junk like that.

Seriously, think about something as simple as tomatoes, which are poisonous until they get ripe and red.

Or on the extreme end, think about those goddam pufferfish things that the japanese or somebody eats, where you might just get paralyzed for nine hours or some shit, I mean, somebody musta had a lot of poisonous pufferfish laying around to keep trying to figure out how to eat those freakin' things without dying ahaha.

Anyways, so there's all this hard-won knowledge that we just take for granted, stuff like "don't eat green tomaters" and shit.

And although we do tend to name the junk that's okay to eat after the guy who figured out how to cook it, we tend to never name the poisonous shit after the guy who died testing it for some reason, guess we're ashamed of it or something heh.

Anyways its really just a bunch of stuff that somebody just told us was true, stuff that we really don't know is true.

And even if it is true, which we can't be sure of, we still don't know how far somebody went, trying out different cooking processes and stuff like boiling the goddam things and whatever to make it untrue.

Stuff like "mushrooms are mostly poisonous."

How do we know that mushrooms really are mostly poisonous?

The truth is, we don't know.

And what if the guy who was testing the mushrooms found a really good kind of mushroom and he didn't wanna share it with us so he just told us it was poisonous so he could have 'em all to himself?

Ah, see, yah, don't think that ever happened, huh?

Never crossed your mind?

C'mon, you know that had to happen at least one time, and that means there's gotta be at least one incredibly edibly awesome thing out there that everybody just thinks is poisonous.

What if all the stuff we think is poisonous is actually so goddam extra-tasty and whatever that folks with the "inside knowledge" are hogging it all?

That's why I think we need to retest everything, y'know?

Starting with all the mushrooms in the forest.

So somebody has to get on that heh.

Gastrological

So all the galaxies in space are actually accelerating as they move away from each other.

That is pretty damn weird.

Well, if we ain't totally messed something up.

'Cause there's at least two good reasons I can think of for that happening besides the idea that the building blocks of empty space between the galaxies are multiplying, y'know like that Dark Energy slash Cosmic Constant thingie they're talking about.

Actually now I'm up to four or five other ways of explaining it, thinking of things that behave like that on Earth, or things that seem to behave like that on Earth.

But they're all really, really weird, and they involved curved space and lensing and the nature of the gun or whatever that created the Big Bang (that may still be firing) and crap, and I got the stomach flu, so to hell with that shit.

Y'know, at first all the burping and farting with the stomach flu was kinda funny, and it made me laugh, but after a few days of it now, I've had to start taking each fart and burp more serious or something heh.

Like, now that its all medical and surgicial and scientific and shit the fun is gone baby ahaha.

Saturday Nights Alright

So this flying saucer landed in the back yard and a big ole beam of white light came shining down outta their spaceship and lit the whole place up and a buncha these big headed skinny little aliens stepped out.

And all-a-sudden the crickets started chirping like crazy and trees started rustling and these flies and bugs and snakes and squirrels came out of nowhere and started swarming around and a-biting on them aliens and the aliens started sneezing and then my dog started going crazy and attacking the poor things and tearing 'em up and I hardly had time to finish sayin' "ho-lee sheeit" before they was all dead and gone.

Wasn't even any bones left.

There was nothing I could do it all happened so fast and it was all so crazy looking, and then the spaceship sped away and everything just went back to normal, I think even the plants were grabbing on to their legs and stuff, I never seen nothing like it before.

Was sorta like the whole animal kingdom rose up on its double helix and whupped some alien ass.

Anyways I think its kinda weird and a little scary that we're so into looking for alien life out there, y'know?

'Cause sure seems like we ain't interested in finding happy little green photosynthetic boogers and self-sufficient microbes that are minding their own business and not bothering nobody and stuff, we wanna find ourselves some complex organisms, y'know, things like us, and that means we're actually looking for predators with big ole calorie-consuming brains.

And we sure don't seem to be too worried that they're gonna be able to put up much of a fight when we start pushing 'em around neither.

We're like a bunch of drunken hillbillies in one of them dangerous let-me-attem moods or something heh.

Guess that's just the branch of the family tree we're from talking, y'know, top-of-the-food-chain is prolly hard-wired to be at least a little fearless and stupid, since everything else is sorta vestigial at this point, carnivorous apes will be carnivorous apes and all that.

But then again, we usually think the woods is a peaceful and serene place, like that fool Walden, when actually all the plants and trees and everyting else is just endlessly strangling and poisoning and chewing and burning each other to death over resources silently and in slow motion.

See, this is why Stevie gets all upset with you idjits.

Little Billy Speaks

Y'know how whenever there's a kid that "won't speak" or "can't talk" in the beginning of the movie, they're gonna be talking at the end of the movie?

I mean, how many movies have that shit in there, there's gotta be like a hundred of 'em, I dunno how anybody except some dude that was kept in a little box in the basement of a pyramid for the last ten thousand years wouldn't see that coming and think that was still gonna be a surprise for the audience.

Y'know, I just wanna be there when the writer thinks he oughta put that in his script so I can see the face he makes when he fools himself into thinking that tired old shit is a good idea ahaha.

And the actors always have to act like "oh boy! little billy is talking! what a surprise! yay!"

That's gotta be so hard for them to work themselves up for, y'know, I mean, I just laugh when I see the faces they make when they gotta do that part, 'cause you know they know how pitiful and unsurprising that surprise is heh.

The whole thing is so sad for everybody involved all around really ahaha.

So let's not have any more of that, okay?

I mean, its supposed to be like the Good Ending your wrote for your movie is just so good that it can cure serious psychological problems in kids and shit, and that just totally makes it worse 'cause it isn't a good ending if you do that Little Billy Speaks Thingie, its a bad ending that would actually make Little Billy unmagically lose all hope and start hating the world and turn mute.

And you gotta wonder what all the real life mute kids would say about your stupid crap, y'know, if they weren't all mute and talking in sign language and all that serious stuff that nobody understands and shit heh.

On the other hand, its actually so bad that it might actually cure them of their muteness just so they can scream at the TV about how stupid and horrible your movie is ahaha.